Adult son chronic pain illness

Judy - posted on 07/12/2016 ( 2 moms have responded )




I need advice for how to help him. He lives with girlfriend. He hardly works and thinks I don't think understand. I try to be sympathetic but he just starts blaming me and complaining about his life. I'm so sad . I can't fix this problem.


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Dove - posted on 07/12/2016




No... You can't fix the problem. Living w/ chronic pain and/or a chronic illness/disorder... SUCKS... all the time. If treatment or a cure is possible he should be seeing and working w/ his doctor. If he is blaming you... I hope he is also seeing a therapist or considers some counseling in the near future... but none of this is stuff you can do for him or make him do.

All you can do is listen to him and try to support him. You do not have to tolerate him blaming you, but do try and understand that complaining about things in his life might be one of the only ways he can get through it.

You likely don't understand... unless you suffer w/ a similar chronic issue you CAN'T understand... not even close... and even if you DO... everyone feels things differently. That's just life though. I'm sorry it's hard on you as well as on him.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 07/12/2016




If he has chronic pain from an injury , he should consult his physician for a referral to a pain management specialist. The best you can do is suggest that. Perhaps suggest it to his gf and let her broach the subject.

One thing about chronic one can understand what the person is experiencing unless they also suffer. My husband has been disabled for 15 years now, and suffers from extreme chronic pain. I can sympathize, but I truly don't know what he deals with from the first person point of view.

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