adult son on drugs

Jan - posted on 06/01/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )

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my son is 47 and has been in prison 2 times in and out of jail, court ordered rehab 2 times, recently violated his 7 year probation after 2years, judge dismissed him and he was off paper, since then he has fallen deeper into drugs than ever before, I have always been there for him but am fed up with the abusive behavior, he has put me into a terrible emotional state. everyday its something, cigs, or gas for bike, and rent money to help pay rent,m he lives with girlfriend who is an x meth head, but think she is also using because of behavior, he always says hes fine but hes not, when I accuse him of using he gets defensive if I don't give in he says I don't love him don't care, I recently bought car and told him I was number 1 and he actually said a car ius more important than a place for me to live. he has put me so far in debt ill die in debt, ive tried the tough love but feel terrible, he is a chronic liar and I know this but always hope he will change, I recently asked him to take a drug test for me so he could prove me wrong but I guess you all know the answer to that, I have had him put in jail before but now hes not on paper don't know what TO DO, he knows how upset he gets me but doesn't seem to phase him, I feel like disappearing for a while so he cant find me does any moms out there no of any halfway houses in dallas he really needs to go bacxk to homeward bound and detox then go into there residential programs, how can I make him understand unless he does this leave m alone,

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Jan - posted on 06/02/2014

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no I didn't buy him a car bought me one and I have turned my phone off just so I don't have to talk to him. I have put the ball in his corner and told him to get detoxed and stay clean or im thru helping him, today girlfriend text said he said today was the day he killed himself she said whatever, im trying really hard right now everyone tells me the same thing thanks

Michelle - posted on 06/01/2014

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You need to stop enabling him. Why would you buy him a car?
He's 47, if he can stand on his own feet and take responsibility for his own actions then he never will. You need to cut off contact (I know you said you tried the tough love and it didn't work) but YOU need to stand up and say no to him.
He has been walking all over you for 47 years because you have let him. People will treat you how you let them and he sees you as his scapegoat. You will always help him out so he doesn't need to do anything for himself.

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