Adult Sons with AS

Marsha Adsit - posted on 04/03/2014 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I have 2 adult sons who just happen to have AS. No one can understand the experiences of a parent with children who happen to have AS. I want to support and share in anyway I can with other parents. There's no blame but the joy and the heartbreak is quite unique. Sharing with others can be a source of great comforter, understanding and support. Thanks!

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 04/03/2014

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As with any condition, each differs. My 19 YO Asperger's adult is fully self sufficient, on his own, working 40+ a week, starting school in the fall to be a teacher, and moving forward.

If you treat this condition as a debilitating one, that is what it will be. But, if you treat it open mindedly, and don't give in to the symptoms, things work great.

Marsha Adsit - posted on 04/03/2014

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Filomena, my boys are so different from each other. My youngest is 24 and very, very ADHD. He will help if asked but it is a challenge for him to listen for any length of time. He lives with us but we actually see him only about 15-20 min a day. He works full time but when he is home (in the Bat Cave) he is always online - doing videos or whatever. All his social activity is online. That was difficult for me for a very long time. I didn't see them as "real friends". But I've learned that that is not true. That is how he interacts with others....My oldest son is 26 and has been very difficult. He no longer lives with us. He argues over everything. He is very immature and very inappropriate. His language is vulgar. Social interaction is very one sided. His world is very black and white and unfortunately if he feels you have mistreated him you will never be forgiven. He is my heartbreak, Filomena... If I can be a sounding board for you in anyway feel free to write back.........Marsha

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 04/03/2014

13,258

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2015

The thing is, this is not a disability. It is a condition, yes, and it does affect how you act.

Asperger's kids have a hard time socializing, because they are considered 'weird'. But, mine's found that if he looks to his age group (19-23), he finds like minds.

Filomena, your son is in to game creation, correct? Get him into technical college. There are several schools geared towards graphic design, which is the field that game creation falls under. Once he's in a class or two, he'll find like minds, and make friends quite easily.

In general, I've found that a large problem shared by all Aspberger's kids is the socialization issue. And, with most that I've experienced, it does take some 'social training'. This is not any different than we did when we were teaching them acceptable public behaviour when they were toddlers, actually. I've found that some quite correction, along with quiet advice on situations goes a long way in those cases.

But, the main thing is to quit calling it a disability. It is not a disability. These kids aren't delayed, they're very (usually highly) intelligent. Its just that they fire on different cylinders.

Filomena - posted on 04/03/2014

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@ shawn I tell him all the time that his disability will not get him anywhere, its funny because When the atmosphere is proper he can act properly. He only has friends that range from 9 to 14 because he can't relate to kids his age. I have been trying to get him to make friends his own age.

Filomena - posted on 04/03/2014

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Hi I also, have a son with Asperger Syndrome. Does your son act Immature? Does he give you a hard time with listening and doing what he told? I could use your advice on so many subjects on as thanks

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