Advice

Karen - posted on 06/22/2015 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I wanted advice from other moms about this : my daughter is 10 and goes to a dance studio , last week she went to class and put her purse (she carries it because she has an epipen) in the change room then came out to say goodbye to me. After I left,she poked her head around the corner in the change room and 2 of her dance mates were looking through her purse. She is on the shyer side and just looked and didn't say anything and they put the purse back. When I pick her up she tells me as we are on our way home. So we call the studio owner and tell her and she says she will say something but not involve my daughter so they won't think she's a taddle tale. The teacher had opportunities to speak with them the next day and hasn't. I feel she isn't going to. What message is this saying to my daughter? What should I y to my daughter now? Needing advice, Karen

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Raye - posted on 06/23/2015

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Does the changing room not have lockers? Maybe she needs to find a more secure place to leave her purse. That being said, it was wrong of the other classmates to look through her purse and she should have asked them what they were doing while they were in the act. Whether it was her or you that told her instructor, they should address the problem with the students. If the teacher hasn't said anything, then you need to take it to someone higher up the food chain and they need to advise the teacher and students that that kind of behavior won't be tolerated.

And I agree with Gina, that your daughter needs to learn to take up for herself. If she wasn't comfortable confronting the girls herself, she should at least have been able to tell the instructor. but since she told you, then you do need to have her back and see that something is done.

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Gena - posted on 06/23/2015

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I would also say, speak to the teacher again. Also tell your daughter she must not be scared to tell those others NOT to go through her personal belongings.

Yolanda - posted on 06/23/2015

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All children turn the tables when they get older. I belive theses kids are easily influenced as they get older. We as parents have to stay on top of supporting them, talking too them and understanding them. I'm not saying even if you do this all will be well when she turns into a teen but at least right now allow her to see you have her back if no one else will.

Yolanda - posted on 06/23/2015

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I would try to speak to the dance instructor one more time. If she doesn't handle it I think I would handle it my self in a mature way with the other parents while waiting to pick them up. These days we have to show our children we have their back in a respectable way, otherwise if this really bothers your daughter you'll definitely here it years from now how you did nothing and didn't have their back. It could lead to when your daughter gets older she may not tell you anything else , thinking you won't handle things that bother her. Then that may turn into a guilt trip or defense when she gets older towards you. Then everytime you here that you'll give into situations when she gets mad at you to get her way.

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