Advice about bedtime with almost 2yr old?

Flora - posted on 08/25/2011 ( 1 mom has responded )




I have been away on deployment for almost a year now, and I am finally back. I left when my baby was 9 months old, and I have to slowly build up a bond with her. However while I was gone her grandmother and her dad spoiled her at bed time. So now she is used to going to sleep with someone there, and moreso with her grandmother! I have only been back for a few days now, and I have been spending a lot of time with her...but let her sleep at my mothers house, because I don't want to overwhelm her. Her dad is busy and has been really busy a lot lately in the last few months. So she has been staying with my mother quite a bit.

Let me say that she has been pretty good with me lately, because when I first came back on my R & R for two weeks. The baby would not have anything to do with me, she would cry and would be scared of me. She has been letting me play with her, come near her. She also comes to me and talks to me...But then she will start getting shy, and after a while of playing then she has had enough! She also has a pretty mean little streak ( worse than the terrible 2s, my older daughter DID NOT act like this one does!)

So I also have been doing things with her with her dad as well, so that she gets used to us being together and that we are her parents. We gave her a bath tonight together, got her ready for bed...then we laid down with her. But as we were laying down, asked him if he was going to put her in the crib and he was like that is not going to work. I get upset about that...bcs while I was on my deployment, he told me that he would let her play in the playpen and then she would fall asleep or she would fall asleep on him. Then he would lay her down in his bed and let her sleep ther, so the reason I get upset is because we paid quite a bit of money and it has barely and does not get used. So she was ok on the bed with us, in her room (where her sister sleeps as well), and was playing with a doll. Then she figured out that it talked, so she kept pressing the button. Then she started to whine and fuss and then she was calling for her grandma...then she started to cry, and she cried and cried until she fell asleep. This took about an hour, just the crying alone part.

He has to be at work early, and I can't be in there with her alone...bcs she is not comfortable with me yet, but I don't think it is good that he goes thru this when he has to get up early and go to work...and I certainly do not want to go thru this when I start back to work(in about 3 months).

I think if she were to be put in her crib and read her a book, then put on some soft music...and let her cry herself(if she needs to do that) in the crib and be consistent each night of this routine and the time she is put to bed. Help someone, has anyone been through this? At least the part of a very spoiled, stubborn, yells no, and having a hard time with the child going to bed? I REALLY need some good advice here! Please help?! Thank you in advance!


Louise - posted on 08/26/2011




I think at two your daughter should be in a bed and settling herself down to sleep. You need to start a routine that you use every day and that is adaptable for everyone to stick to when you are away. My daughter has wind down time half an hour before bath. A calm bath and then a story every night. Her routine does not change but the person doing it might. She has her own bed and her comfort blanket which she sleeps with every night and she gets into bed awake.

At first it took her a little time to settle enough to fall asleep but we have been doing this routine for a year now and she falls asleep within 10 minutes of going to bed.

A tip with night time sleep is to make sure she is not getting to much sleep in the day. She may be ready to give up her afternoon nap at two. I think once she gets used to the new regime she will settle a lot better and everybody will know how to deal with her. Getting this routine established will take a week for her to understand what is going to happen. Let her moan for a while before you go back into her, she will try and take control of you by using tears. Let her cry for 10 minutes then settle her and then leave her for 15 minutes go back in if she is still moaning and then 20 minutes. If she is strong willed you will be in for a night of it but don't cave in. Once you have established a routine she will be a better sleeper and able to sleep any where as long as the routine is the same, same time for bath, bed and story.

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