Diane - posted on 01/31/2011 ( 26 moms have responded )
I have a problem that sounds like a soap opera, but it's all too real. I have been married for 16 years and my husband and I have 3 children. Our youngest, who is 6, is not the biological child of my husband. My husband has no idea about this. The biological father is actually my husband's brother, with whom I had a relationship that lasted several months. He knows my son is his, but believes it is best if we never tell anyone. My husband and his brother are very close, so my child has a relationship with his biological father, but my child just thinks of him as his favorite uncle. I do not know if I should ever tell my son the truth. But then I try to put myself in his place and I think if it were me, I would want to know. I am also nervous because paternity tests can even be bought at drugstores now. I realize the implications could be devastating either way and I only want to do what is best for my children. I am well aware that it was a grave error to have a relationship with my brother-in-law in the first place, so I do not need criticism. I just want to do the right thing now but I do not know what the right thing is. I would appreciate all well-meaning advice.