NAS - posted on 08/12/2013 ( 5 moms have responded )
I'm currently a mom of two girls a 2 year old and a 1 year old and I'm doing my PhD as well but lately ( in the past 3 or 4 months) I have been having the feeling of wanting to abandon my husband and kids And I get angry at my husband over the most tiniest mistakes and I just want a way out. I keep telling my self it's a temporary thing and that it will pass as soon as my phd. Is over which is why I'm putting antidepressants off at the moment and my doctor didnt encourage them either because I seem fine and cheerful to everyone except at home with my family.
Im worried that the events that have happened in the past two years are getting to me. I lost my first daughter (who should have 3 years now) two years ago due to a genetic disease, my second daughter who is 2 now has the same disease but is taking medication that improves her quality of life but there is no cure for the disease so her prognosis is unknown as well as how long she may live. I'm also in charge of our finances as my husband not employed at the moment.
So recently I've been feeling terrible and guilty for feeling that way towards my kids as I don't want it to affect the children or my relationship with my husband.
I tried taking a break but I come back fine for a few days then this feeling creeps back and I just feel like wanting to stay in bed or sit alone and not hear any crying or screaming which makes me feel like a terrible mother.
Does anyone have an advice for me?