Advice needed with access rights please help

Renee - posted on 10/15/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Hi I am just looking for some advice really. Me and my ex have been split up just over a year and have 3 children together. After a lot of let downs and hostility on his part I decided to move and give my children a better chance of getting over the situation. Me and the children are now happily settled 100 miles away from the memories but my ex has finally decided he wants access. He's asking for one weekend a month which I am fine with but the problem comes with the travel arrangements. He wants me to travel 3/4 of the way but I'm currently not working and cannot afford the train fares. He is refusing to travel the whole way even though he has a full time well paid job And has no bills to pay as he is living with his mum. Where do I go from here because the kids do want to spend time with him and see their grandparents and I don't want to be the reason they don't buy I simply cannot afford it. Has anyone got any suggestion that could help me out please thank you x

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Jodi - posted on 10/15/2012

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Is there a child support order? And if so, can these costs be taken into consideration? Has he told you WHY he wants you to travel 3/4 of the way? For instance, is it that, because he is working and this is happening on a Friday night that the timing is not suiting his job, and you don't have one, so it is easier for you? Is it because there is an appropriate place 3/4 of the way there, but not half way?



I know where I live, the courts would require you to pay for 1/2 the cost of the trip anyway. And let's be fair, you WERE the one who moved, therefore increasing the costs of access. These are things you should take into consideration when moving, that they have another parent that has rights too.

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Renee - posted on 10/15/2012

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Hi Jodie, no it's nothing to do with his job he has Friday Saturday and Sunday off work. I know I was the one that moved increasing the travel cost but he really left me no choice he was having my windows put through and constant threats. I did what I thought was best for the children at the time and I still believe that it is best for them as they are a lot more settled now. I do get CSA but very rarely is it paid on time or the correct amount so it's not something that I could rely on for the cost of travel.

I have offered to meet him half way but that isn't good enough for him and since my original post he has now decided I have to travel all the way both on the Friday and the Sunday. I'm am unsure what my options and wouldn't want to go see a solicitor unless it was my very final option. I am thinking of the kids. Before I moved he wasn't having them regularly and only had them 6 days in 12 months so I am also worried about how it will affect them if he lets them down again.

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