Advice on my Mother-in-Law

Heather - posted on 05/29/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I would like to improve my relationship with my MIL, How can I go about doing that? Back ground below:
We got along good until we had our daughter. After my daughter was born it seems like she doesnt care about her or me. We live 4 hours away from my in-law and my SIL lives like 5 min away from them. I don't know how to address the issue with the fact that my neice is 6 months older than my daughter and my MIL only buys stuff that will either fit my neice or that my niece likes. (exp. my daughter like diesney princess and my niece like tinker bell, all she buys is tinker bell and this hurts my daugther. Clothing wise my daughter who is 5 wears a size 6 in jeans for lenght but can wear a 24 month around waist and a 7/8 in shirts, My neice who is 5 will be 6 in July wears an 9/10 in waist and has to have pants allter for lenght and an 11/12 in shirts) My MIL only buys my neices size and in the past when I have asked kindly for the recipts she yells at me so I quit asking and the stuff sits in the closet untill I sell it or donate to a good cause. My MIL will also openly spend more money on my neice and nephew and through it in my daughters face and mine and my husband. It hurts my daughter and she doesnt want to vist them because of it. The only thing she asked my MIL for on her BDay was for a vist because in 5 years they have never been to a bday party and she couldnt because my SIL need money for gas and cigeretts. I don't know what to do to help my daughter through this.

Sorry so long but thought all details would help.

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Lauren - posted on 05/29/2012

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I see that the 1st line of your post is that you'd like to improve the relationship but from what you've detailed, it doesn't sound like there's much there to work on. Relationships are a 2 way street, with both parties having to want something workable. I would start by telling her that you'd like to be closer, that you've always wanted a MIL that you could consider a friend. If her choice is to be a distant relation, then the hard part is explaining that to your child. I've dealt with telling my kids that sometimes, even when grown-ups love you, they have different priorities and that's ok cuz we have lots of people in our lives that choose to spend their time with us and treat us like gold. Hope this helps :-)

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