Advise Needed Please! My 7 yr old is "touching"herself. What do I say to her about this?

Missie - posted on 04/14/2012 ( 12 moms have responded )




My 7 year old daughter has recently started "touching" herself. I have a niece that is 3 months younger than her that has already gone through this. I don't know if my niece has let my daughter know about this or if this is something my daughter has found out for herself. I need some help on how to talk to my daughter about this.


Val - posted on 04/30/2012




Help. We have been doing just as all this advice says. Not shaming her. Telling her that it is private and should be done in private. Never in public. She now has been doing this in school for over a year. She is nearly 7 years old and is in the 1st grade and now the kids are telling her that she is "disgusting" but she still continues. Many parents in forums have said that even after 1-2 years of therapy and even medication that the behavior persists. Our daughter is lovely, very smart - the highest reading score in her class, funny, and very loving. We are so worried. She says that she does it because she gets a little tingle and can't help it. She has seen a pediatrician and there is no physical reason for this. Please...has anyone been successful?

Alecia - posted on 05/01/2012




why would any kid need therapy and medication for self exploration??? thats the most ridiculous thing ive ever heard. all you need is to help her understand that it is ok to do, but not in school or public. period. start reprimanding her if she does it anywhere else but her room, but make sure she knows she is only being reprimanded for doing it in front of others, not just for doing it. she is doing it because it feels good, not for any other reason. there is nothing wrong with her. masturbation is perfectly normal and your daughter is a perfectly healthy individual.

[deleted account]

I agree with everyone here, its normal. It can actually be stress induced and she is calming herself. Not saying she is stressed, just know that when my kids got upset thats what they did. Yes its a private matter and no shame in it. If she forgets remind her, only in her room.


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Nichelle - posted on 07/04/2016




I never, my daughter was caught doing this. What's weird is when I asked what she was doing she seemed little embarrassed. I told her anything you have to hide from your mother or you can't say without feeling embarrassed maybe should think twice or actually talk to me before doing. She is in no way shape or form a shy little girl she stays true to get morals and self. Which is why hurts little that she this is an issue. I told her to respect your body and know your a child of God. So pray and think about it. She now takes book in her room. I don't want her to ever be ashamed of her and her body but I do want her to know without me telling or lecturing her to be appropriate always. All I do know now is kids are growing up so fast. We as parents have to be careful of everything and everyone around kids. All so called entertainment around them and ready for lots of discussions.

Sarah - posted on 04/16/2012




It's normal. Why cause any embarrassment or shame by bringing it up? Let her touch herself if she wants, just encourage her if she wants to she needs to do it in her own room in privacy.

Alecia - posted on 04/15/2012




^agree. tell her its ok, but only in private, like her room. it may make u feel odd, but its normal!! i did it and still do! ;) lol and i know others who did as well. its all apart of being human

Bonnie - posted on 04/15/2012




I agree with both Michelle and Nikki. It's not a bad thing. She just needs to know that it should only be done in her room or the bathroom.

Nikki - posted on 04/15/2012




I agree with Michelle, just explain that it's normal, explain that it's private and encourage her to wash her hands.

Michelle - posted on 04/14/2012




It's completely normal. As long as she doesn't have her hands in her pants in public I wouldn't worry too much. If she does do it public just let her know that she shouldn't.

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