Advocating for children

Becky - posted on 11/12/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Okay mamas. This is a big issue that I assume many of you have never dealt with, in fact I hope that is the case. This is a personal issue, but it is also an issue that needs to be addressed by moms, and sadly the issue I wish to address concerns a great many children without moms or someone else to advocate for them. This is my current personal experience. I am going to try to make it short even though there is a lot to it. In 2006 my husband and I adopted his biological nephew. He has lived with us since January of 2005 as a foster child and then as our son. When we adopted him we did so with an adoption subsidy, and the understanding that should we need help for him in the future we would find it through the Children's Division. Our son has had severe behavioral issues throughout his life. We have gotten him counseling, special education, anger management classes, etc. I work with people who have developmental disabilities, am working on a psychology degree, have taken many trainings on behavioral supports and techniques, and lived my own troubled teen years that included some time in a residential facility. Anyhow, my son is now getting totally out of control and is threatening to hurt himself and others, these are not your typical teenage boy behaviors that we are seeing, these behaviors are like the kinds you hear about when they are talking about people who grew up to be killers and stuff. So, in May when we were just scared and didn't know what else to do, we went to the CHildren's Division and asked for residential treatment. They told us to put him in the hospital where he sat in the pediatric unit and played video games for a week. They have since asked us to do a bunch of stuff that we knew wouldn't work (because it is the same things we have been doing for years- counseling etc.) but we did it anyway, hoping that by cooperating we would be able to get him the help he needs. On September 30 my son told us he wants to hurt himself. We were told by his psychologist and psychiatrist to take him to the hospital. He went back to the pediatric unit where he was in May and was there until October 15. The Dr. there thought Ryan was enjoying his stay since he seemed fine until someone asked him how he was. He then would respond that he was feeling a little better but still wanted to hurt himself. She seemed to think he was just saying that because he wanted to stay there. So did we. My son came home and was terrible at home. We would ask him to do his homework and he would cuss and yell at us. Then on Ocotber 19 he went to school and said he wanted to hurt himself and I was called to pick him up. Again, following the advice of the psychiatrist and psychologist we placed him in the hospital. This time he went to the adolescent unit, and now they have seen his behaviors in full force and the hospital agrees with my husband and I that residential is the most appropriate treatment option for him and the Children's Division wants to maybe put him in a foster home first! Okay, here is a child, that has attachment issues stemming from his biological mom just leaving him wherever, whenever and I asked 6 months ago for 1 transition, 1 place that could help him then back home once he had completed his treatment and the Children's Division- has pushed us to make 3 transitions with him and now wants us to do another one between here and the help he needs? What gives them the right to argue with what the Dr says? They told me I have to listen to the Dr. even though I do not agree with the medications they are using with my child there (and by the way-if you admit your child to the psychiatirc ward they can dope your kid up on whatever they want and there is no agency to help you stop that, at least in the state of Missouri). I am angry that my child is not getting the help he needs, but really concerned about all the children the state removes from their families to bounce them from place to place. This is really bad for kids who need stability anbd consistency, the kids who need to know someone cares because their parents who were supposed to care for them did not show them that and they are not getting the help they need. They are having to fail at being

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Diana - posted on 11/12/2012

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That's really sad to hear this, the poor child must've been threatened times, you dear just can do nothing to help but agreeing their treatments. Hope little boy would recover soon by the continually guidance.

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