after a 34 year marriage I still have ex-wife/mom problems

Nancy - posted on 07/11/2014 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I am married to my husband for 34 yrs and she has been remarried for nearly 36. She is sweet to me one minute and next blows up. This time, after a 3 yr peaceful period she saw that I typed a Happy Anniversary wish to my stepson and his wife which his father dictated. I added a remark about the bride wearing her mothers gown and how touching that memory was to me. My husband added that he was proud that he had a son from the minute he was born to carry on the family name. The ex blew up and since my husband's son and family were coming from the Mid West to our Eastern coast, we were excluded from seeing them for all but the 4 hours of their vacation because of the hostility she feels. I don't want our shared grandchildren affected by this so I have taken a back seat. Did I do anything wrong? How should I handle this? This happens every 3 to 4 years. Something always sets her off.

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Nancy - posted on 07/12/2014

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Thanks Evelyn, we have done this more times than I can count. We get along great for years. I have even invited her to hear my nephew's band play, go out to dinner, bought her birthday and Christmas gifts and had her here for large family gatherings. She goes from being Mrs. Nice to "respect my boundaries" in two minutes. I know she is the problem. Just didn't think this would blow up to the point where my husband was only visited for several hours out of a two week vacation. Thanks for the encouragement though.

Ev - posted on 07/11/2014

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It might be time for you and her with the husbands to sit down and work something out. If the family is so good together with the step parents in it, it has to be her that is up to something. You and your husband had every right to post a message to the son for his anniversary. Its not fair to you that she acts this way.

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