After letting my daughter use my car for 5 year's! Disabled Mom! Help!

Mary - posted on 11/10/2015 ( 4 moms have responded )




My 23 years old daughter returned my car after 5 year's. The car needs breaks and oil change and needs to be cleaned inside &,out. She owes me $1100.00 for the car insurance that I paid for her but she knew she would have me back. I'm not working & having very little income coming at this time. She refuses to pay me for ithe back insurance & getting the car repaired. I let her use the car to go to school & take my Grandson to school & anwhere she wanted to go. She moved out took the car with her but now that her boyfriend gave her a car she returned my with no gas in it either. I plan on letting my son use it so he can get started in his life. He's going for his licence in December and I want to help him out now. It's his turn. I feel my daughter should take the responsibility and get my car fixed. I don't drive due to my illiness. She just started working two months ago and I realize she just starting to get on her feet. She said she will only clean the car & get the oil changed and not the breaks. Also she doesn't want to pay me the $1100.00 she owes me for the car insurance. My daughter said, why can't you be like mist parent's and just help mr out. If I could I would. But I'm disabled & can't drive so I'm not working st this time abd haven't wirk since 2010. PLEASE HELP ME.


Michelle - posted on 11/11/2015




Unless you had a contract in writing you can only hope that she will repay you.
As soon as she had taken the car you should have transferred the insurance over to her for her to pay though.
She sounds very spoiled by saying most parents help out their children but I wouldn't have done that for mine. They MAY get a car but all the running costs will be up to them. I will NOT pay insurance or repairs on their cars.
Hopefully you have learned your lesson and will draw up a contract with your son about how you expect him to pay for his insurance, maintenance and everything else involved with the privilege of driving a car.
It's not a right to have a car and most people have to work hard to be able to afford in the first place.

Jodi - posted on 11/11/2015




:" why can't you be like mist parent's and just help mr out."

What an absolute crock. She totally has you hoodwinked! My 18 year old has a car - HE paid for it himself with his part time job that he has....while he is a full time student. Yes, I contributed $500 as a birthday gift, but that's it. he also fixes it, fuels it, cleans it, insures it, registers it. She's 23 FFS. Why do you feel you need to help her out? She's been using you. Unless you had a written contract, there is really little that you can do. You continued to enable her. This is what happens when you enable children.


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Liz - posted on 11/11/2015




Guess what!I know two other moms in the famed predicament!! I'm convinced it's because they cater to their children to much. You are going to do that to your other soon and he might mo re than likely end up also ungrateful snd not help you in the future. My suggestion is to do a different approach. Instead of telling him you are letting him borrow your car for his need, should make it clear to him, you need help and it's him that is going to help you by driving you around when you need it. Her will appreciated the responsibility if you are continually giving him praises about it"my son is so amazing, he I'd such a good driver, and so helpful...etc AVOID talking bad about your children whether they are around or not. Correct them and have Te precisions for their bad actions but if you really want them to change. You must be a bit though and let them work for their blessings. And follows thru if you say your not using my car anymore out don't say stuff like that and then not follows thru.exam pls I'll let you use my car off you r wash it" . When daughter need it really bad(doctors appt) Our whatever you must stick to your guns or she will continue to disrespect or even get worse become abusive. You have to keep your threats or warnings real. Praise them for the good. Often. Buy be quick to correct them on the bad. Even if you can't think of anything good there is ask God for wisdom in this matter

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 11/11/2015




You had a contract, right?

Because, if not, you're basically screwed. Take what you can get, and learn from this.

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