age to take kids out of nappy's?

Alana - posted on 09/06/2011 ( 90 moms have responded )

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hiya, i am becoming increasingly suprised with the number of parents who think it is ok for their 3/4 year old to stil be in nappy's!
coments like "my kids are 3 years apart, it was hard with them both being in nappys though"....why are they still in nappy's at age three?!

what do you think is the best age to potty train your children? my son was dry within a week of turning two,we started on his birthday.although i would have started at 18 months but my mum suggested i wait. x x

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Nadiene - posted on 09/06/2011

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To think that all kids develop and do things at the same time is incredible narrow minded. Why do you even care that other people's kids are still in diapers. As parents we all try to do the right thing for our kids. There is no magic age where things start to fall into place. I have a 2 year old out of diapers and a 3 year old still in them. Kids are just ready when they are ready.

Cindy - posted on 09/06/2011

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I don't understand your comment "i am becoming increasingly suprised with the number of parents who think it is ok for their 3/4 year old to stil be in nappy's!" Exactly what is it to you how long someone else's child ... meaning NOT YOUR CHILD ... is in nappies/diapers? It is completely up to the child to decide when they are ready to potty train,.

Bret - posted on 09/13/2011

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Both of mine (one boy and one girl) were trained completely by age 2. I run a daycare in my home, and have seen training done many ways. The parents who simply treat it as a fact of life, and teach the children with no nonsense that this is the way people do it, and this is what to do, the kids are trained within a couple of weeks with no trouble or rebellion. Psychologists have done repeated studies that children have a window between age 15 months and 2 years where they are psychologically ready and will train quickly and easily with no drama. If you as a parent never make too big a deal of it, the child wont either. Just show them what to do, how to do it, and the expect that from them. The studies also show if that window of time is missed, the more "stubborn" comes through, and you could get a refusal till age 3.5 or 4. Sure, children are all different, as the window off time in the study suggest and allows for, but I know if a child can feed themself, play on a sports team, attend preschool, ride a bike, etc, then they can also control and choose whether or not to pee in a potty.

Jodi - posted on 09/07/2011

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Well, if your kid isn't ready to potty train, then they aren't ready for whatever pre-school takes them at age 3. Simple. Pre-schools here don't start until kids are 4 anyway.



If it's a bit deal for some people, then fine. Potty train your kid when they are 18 months, I really don't care. But really? Posting an OP judging parents for NOT doing so? AND wanting a pat on the back because you did? What do you want, a cookie?



Fact: Potty training your child by age 2 or 3 or whatever does not make you a better parent than those who don't, and vice versa.

[deleted account]

I have to ask, why do you say "parents who think it's okay"? Is it not okay? I never felt a sense of urgency to potty train my son, he just figured it out with some encouragement. There was never a deadline for me to get him out of diapers.

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Karen - posted on 10/14/2011

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I am not sure what nappy's means?? Both my kids were around 2. I think it is good to expose them even younger to the potty. The older they get the more time they have to develop a fear of the potty. I try not to judge those people whose kids are 3/4 and still wearing diapers. Maybe their kids are harder to get to warm up to the idea.

Jennifer - posted on 10/06/2011

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Its not a specific age for your child to be potty trained. Working in a daycare for most of my career i have found it is up to the individual child. They can be potty trained and just not want to do it.

Katrina - posted on 10/02/2011

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My son was an early potty trainer. by 2.3 he was completly potty trained. but it was his time. not my time .other wise you are creating a battle you will not win. (mother of 5)

Mercy - posted on 09/23/2011

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My boy was potty trained when he was 2 and know he is 3 1/2 and still naps. What is wrong with taking a nap? All the kids on his class take a nap!!! Kids need to rest !! I don't get it, sorry :(

[deleted account]

Liz... we were around my potty training nephew almost every day (who's 11 months older). My son said 'poop' at 15 months and I asked him if he wanted to poop in the potty. He said yes. He had started in his diaper, but finished in the toilet. I went out w/in the week and bought him his own little potty. He was ALWAYS in the bathroom w/ me since he never wanted to be away from me, so he saw what went on all the time. He sat on his little potty whenever he wanted to when he was naked. I would ask him if he wanted to use the potty when I was going. If he did, I'd help him. If he didn't, no biggie. If he asked to go, I helped him. If he didn't, no biggie. It was completely up to him when/if he went and when/if he didn't. He would have days/nights where he was completely clean and dry.... and then he'd go hide and poop in my closet. lol It never mattered though cuz he was still in diapers. He was actually 100% day and night trained for a month before I could convince him that it was ok to wear underwear. THAT was the only 'battle' part. lol.

He was fully trained before he spent a week w/ his dad in December, but I sent him w/ some diapers and some pull ups... He never even tried to wear the pull ups, just wore the diapers. ;) After a couple more weeks he was finally convinced to wear underwear during the day (by his big sisters, actually), but wouldn't wear underwear at night til we ran out of diapers... and only went fully to underwear cuz I refused to buy diapers for a fully potty trained kid. lol

He is SO stubborn that if I had decided to randomly potty train him at any age... I KNOW it would've been a battle. Instead, since I had spent over a year potty training his twin sisters.... I didn't want a battle and left it up to him.

I'm not saying it would work w/ every kid, but since he was fully day and night trained at the exact same age that his sisters were finally day trained and he's had one or two day time accidents (and none at night) compared to them having multiple daytime accidents, many wet beds, and even some daytime 'dampenings' up til 8.5.... I'll take it. ;)

Kirsten - posted on 09/14/2011

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That is crazy! Lol 4.5 years In a diaper! That would be like almost kindergradener age!

Sal - posted on 09/14/2011

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i had my 4 1/2 year old at the dr last week, he was saying what she had wasn't contagious, then totally threw me when he added it wasn't in poo either so i didn't have to worry when i changed her.....i said 'she's over 4 there havent been near her poo in over 2 years' he simply said that nothing surprises him anymore and 4 1/2 isn't old to be using nappies

[deleted account]

Teresa, what do you mean you didn't potty train your son? What did you do to teach him, and how was it different than potty training?

Just curious because you've given excellent advice before. I need to know how to do whatever it is.

Ana - posted on 09/14/2011

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I introduced my daughter to the potty when she was 16 moths and she took to it right away.....she is now 22 months and has only had a poo accident in her diapers twice since then. I don't agree with letting a child decide when to start using the potty on their own...you are the parent and should be the one teaching your child how to do things, not the other way around. I personally dont believe in waiting until your child is 3, 4 or 5 to start teaching them to use the potty....but thats just my opinion.

[deleted account]

Totally. That's why I DIDN'T potty train my son. ;) Worked fabulously w/ WAY more success than when I potty trained his sisters.

Sherri - posted on 09/12/2011

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I guess Teresa that I find all kids are different and if one method doesn't work we try another because every child learns differently even when it comes to potty training. It just depends on the child and what works for them.

So there are a lot of factors and everyone gets to the end result just the same just depends when it is important to you to get there. Also for some kids what method works the best for them and finding that method.

Kirsten - posted on 09/12/2011

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I don't understand how the average age of potty training has gone from 18 months to 3 years old in the past decades. Kids havnt lost the ablility. Kids from the last decades arnt smarter than kids now.

Kirsten - posted on 09/12/2011

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It's not predicting the future it is a normal completely reasonable expectation of a child. Excluding children with disabilities or diseases, that is different. And if he doesn't get it at first I will wait a few weeks and try again. If he isn't getting it close to the age of three, I would start discipline at that point. Children can fully comprehend toilet training and have the capacity to do it. Past that age they are just being defiant, or not wanting to for some
Reason. He Alread only goes through like 6 diapers a days so it's a good sign. I'm doing potty bootcamp this Christmas.

[deleted account]

Well... all I know is that his mom was determined to have him in underwear too and he was, but she was doing laundry all the time cuz he wouldn't even go one hour w/out wetting his underwear. MY son (11 months younger) was still in diapers at the time, but had better bladder control.... and fully potty trained at 2 years 9 months w/ no accidents. All 3 of MY kids were day trained before 3, but I know several kids that weren't. Some that were out of diapers before 3, but mulitple daily accidents (like my nephew) and some that were in diapers at 3, but when they decided to train (shortly after 3) they did it w/ very few, if any, accidents. :)

Sherri - posted on 09/12/2011

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Teresa I can't predict the future but I also had the same vow for my children and for my 3 and the 15 additional children that I helped potty train in my care over the last upteen years and I have never had one child that wasn't fully trained at least daytime by 3yrs old.

It is definitely a completely reasonable expectation. Unless there is a child with a delay, medical issue etc.

[deleted account]

Oh cool.... you can predict the future. Or do you just plan to have him in underwear regardless if he pees in them 20 times a day or not?

Just saying... my nephew wasn't in daytime diapers at 2, but.... he peed in his underwear repeatedly every single day until he was 3.5 no matter what various tactics his mom tried.... absolutely NOTHING worked.

Kirsten - posted on 09/12/2011

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I will defiantly not let my son be in diapers when he is 3. That is just ridiculous. I plan on starting when he is close to two. Children have the capacity to understand the need to urinate and how to hold it by that age. Learned that in nursing school.

Darci - posted on 09/12/2011

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I think every child is different and some are really hard to potty train no matter how much you work on it. Its not something that can be forced. If you make your child potty train before they are ready you can cause serious problems. They will start holding in their poop because they dont want to go on the potty and that can cause some health problems. In the end doesnt it really matter when you are 20. Are people gonna say oh no you cant work here you didnt potty train till you were 3. oh no. haha uum I dont think it matters. 4 yeah is a little late probably should be potty trained by then but I dont think 3 is that big of a deal. I have a 2 1/2 year old boy and a 5 month old boy. I had my 2 1/2 year old potty trained a few months before he turned 2 1/2.

Tiffany - posted on 09/09/2011

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Well Sherri it's funny you say that because my son is actually starting Special Needs Preschool next week. I know Special Needs and regular Preschool are different but I still think they will go when they are ready.

[deleted account]

Sherri, my comment wasn't directed at you. It's different when you make the decision yourself vs. judging other people. My comment was directed to the OP's reply on page 2.

Sherri - posted on 09/09/2011

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@Kelly I didn't say I judged I said I have heard others judge and whisper behind others backs.

[deleted account]

I think the judgement you pass on your own family (as well as your grammar and spelling) is ridiculous.

Kylie - posted on 09/09/2011

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both of my kids were out of nappies at age of 2.....where as one of my sisters has 3 kids and her oldest who is in prep is still in nappies which i find rediculs

[deleted account]

"Way too old" and "There's no reason"?

Wow. Lucky for your kids they got it right the first time.

Good for you for all your parenting success. I'm going to go teach my kids that "there is no reason" to pass judgement on someone just because they do something differently.

Sherri - posted on 09/08/2011

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I guess it depends what is really important to you and what works best for your child. For me I refused to have a child in diapers at the age of 3 (not counting nights of course). Luckily my kids were more than ready by 2-2 1/2yrs old.

However, there does tend to be a stigma at least around this area that it is extremely taboo to have a child in diapers at 3yrs old or older. Most would never say it to your face but I have certainly heard the whispers about others children who were not potty trained until they were older when they aren't around.

Caithlin - posted on 09/08/2011

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I started puttin my daughter on the potty when she was really young just to get her use to it. We started pull ups at 14 months bc she would take her diaper off and acted like she wanted to go. She just tured two and is still in pull ups. She is interested in going to the potty and will go on it but she doesnt always want to go. At my ped. I saw an article saying that research says there is no scientific evidence suggesting that it is better to potty grainy before age 2 1/2. And u shouldn't start until then or until ur childs motor skills allow them to take pants off and on by themselves and a few other things. We don't push our daughter although I would love it if she was potty trained by now. Also I think the average age to be potty trained by is age 3. But anyways all kids advance at their own pace.

Sal - posted on 09/08/2011

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everyone is different, i have 3 children, 3 different ages, my son was about 2 1/2,and night nappy by 4, next daughter was about 12 months and night by 18 months next 3 with lots of accidents then 3 1/2 for nights...

Jessica - posted on 09/07/2011

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My daughter may be 2 1/2 but mentally she isn't ready. Not everyone can get their kids on board early. I would love for her to be potty trained but she is still refusing to go near the potty chair, so we ask her every day, tell her about big girls and panties and try to let her tell me when she is ready.



And Angela, being ready isn't necessarily a sign of intelligence. My daughter is way ahead in verbal/vocabulary and comprehension but is super cautious and a scardy cat, so physical development has been a long road for her. Scared to walk, but when she did, she was doing it like a pro. I figure potty training will be the same. Every kid develops in their own way, regardless of intelligence.

Sherri - posted on 09/07/2011

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Well I will say Tiffany most preschools won't take children until they are potty trained and since most preschools start at three it really can be a big deal.

Evelyn - posted on 09/07/2011

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I've potty trained 4 kids, 3 girls and 1 boy. The 3 girls were all trained before the age 2 but my son was in a diaper until age 4 even though he knew how to use the potty before.
We did everything we could to get him to use the toilet but he refused. We found out several years later that he has autism and one of the things he does is dig in his heels and refuse to do things especially if it requires change.

Tiffany - posted on 09/07/2011

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I'm not sure why not being potty trained at 3 seems like such an abomination. Everyone is in a different situation with their children and some children just are not ready at 18 months. Sometimes it does take longer. My son will be 3 in a week and is not potty trained, HOWEVER he is visually impaired. Have you ever tried potty training a 3 year who can't see????? If so, PLEASE let me know how you did it. Everyone eventually learns to do it, some just take longer so just ease up there a little bit

[deleted account]

My post wasn't funny... it was the truth. ;)

My nephew started potty training around 2 and wet his pants multiple times/day for a year and a half! I started potty training my girls at 18 months. They weren't day trained til about 3 months before turning 3, night trained at 4.5, w/ accidents/wet beds til 8.5. I didn't potty train my son (only offered encouragement and assistance... the rest was 100% up to him) and he's been fully day and night potty trained since about 3 months before turning 3. It's been 8 months and he's had maybe 2 minor daytime accidents and zero night time ones.

Angela - posted on 09/07/2011

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my 1st son was 18 months old when he decided he was ready by this i mean he took his own nappy off and sat on the potty him self he was dry all day within 2 weeks but he has always been ahead of himself (very intelligent) now my second son is fast approaching 2 and showing no interest in the potty he wont even sit on it even with a nappy on but he does take his nappy off (if im not quick enough to catch him) when he wets himself or the other lol what im trying to say is each child is different and they develop differently but you will instinctively know when they are ready

Nicky - posted on 09/07/2011

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We started at 18 months but did not push it, just getting her used to sitting on the potty before a bath or in the a.m. by 24 months she had the hang of it, fully trained by 30 months day and night.

Vikki - posted on 09/07/2011

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Potty training, as is walking, talking, etc for children is an individual achievement. They are NOT all ready at the same time and parents should not feel pressured to have their children potty-trained early to satisfy anyone else's whim!

Sam - posted on 09/07/2011

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I have 5 boys although my oldest are now 19 and 17 they were completely different from each other one was 3 1/2 when we potty trained him and he took months to get it, my other boy was 2 but we pushed him to be clean earlier because we thought we should and it was a complete failure he got stubborn and refused to do anything so we stopped and 1 month later he sat on the toilet one day and within 2 weeks he was clean day and night but it was on his initiation...what I learned from him was they will do it when they are ready.I now have a soon to be 4 year old,a 2 year old and 4 month old all in nappies and we are just starting to train the near 4 year old cos he asked to pee in his potty even though we have had a potty around for over a year and he will be dry very quick cos he is ready so let them tell you when they are ready and not listen to anyone telling you they should be doing this at a certain age just be led by them.

[deleted account]

I have cared for many children besides my own, and hard to believe as it is, I have been in some homes where children are left sitting on the potty/toilet for over an hour for the crime of wetting their pants...so yes, potty/toilets are used for punishment whether you choose to believe it or not, even in our 'enlightened' times.

Sherri - posted on 09/07/2011

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At 2 being completely 100% done well before they are 3. I agree unless there is a medical condition there is no reason for a 3yr old still to be in a diaper.



Plus I have helped to potty train over 15 children and not a single one ever was not potty trained by the age of 3.

Alana - posted on 09/07/2011

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leesa i totally agree, if the child is healthy then i think age 3 is way to old to be in nappy's! in the old days you would have been frowned upon for such a thing! i was toilet trained by 18 months and my brother by 2 and a half.



margeret, my son did actually revert when we moved house, but there was no way i was putting him back in nappy's! he was a "big boy" now and would have been mortified if i had begun treating him like a baby again by putting him back in them. i just made sure he went to the toilet before bed, and then woke him up at 11 at night when i went to bed and took him to the toilet, within a week he was waking himself up at 11 and toddling to the toilet so no more accidents :)



some nurseries (wich start from age 2-2 n a half) in my area) dont allow children to attend unless they are dry....so they are missing out on fun and good times by not going to nursery if they arent trained by that time.



carol and jodie, i cant believe you've never heard the term "nappy" before lol.



i just wanted to make clear, the question is about taking kids out of a nappy during the day. night time is a different matter as im well aware kids can wet themselves up to age ten and grow out of it in their own time. plus they have big kids undies for night time acidents.



xx



ps, y would anyone ever use a toilet as punishment?! xx

[deleted account]

Just a note of caution, never confuse toilet training with lack of discipline...the two should never be lumped together. Sitting on the potty or toilet shouldn't be used as a punishment EVER...

Leesa - posted on 09/07/2011

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I agree its odd but its definitely generational. 3 or 4 yr olds with no illnesses would never have been in nappies years ago. But as with everything nowadays, if you want to find some advice that suits you, you can find it. Train, don't train, discipline or not, it seems to be anything goes! Personally it wouldn't suit me to have a healthy child in a nappy, and if my 4 yr refused to use a toilet that would just be bad behaviour and treated as such. But each to their own! :-)

[deleted account]

My, you were lucky to have your son dry so soon! Why are you using your good fortune as a yardstick for all kids? What will happen if your child reverts (as some do) and begins wetting himself again?? Learn to be a little more tolerant, children get bladder/bowel control at different ages...some children attending primary school are still unable to remain dry at night and no, it has nothing to do with stopping drinks for a period before bed. Time to put your judgement rule aside and keep quiet. God bless.

[deleted account]

All four of my kids were born with a condition called ureteral reflux. Both the pediatrician and the urologist said, "Don't potty-train too soon." The urologist specifically to not encourage OR discourage the process. If they did it on their own, fine; otherwise, don't do it until he cleared them. My older son & daughter were trained at 3y8m (he had permission, she did it on her own). My 3rd child (2nd daughter) trained herself a few months before she turned 3 and she has had 3 UTI's since then. My youngest isn't quite 2.5 yet and hasn't shown much interest. The urologist says it isn't good to pottty-train early because it teaches kids to hold their urine too long which is unhealthy. I can think of other reasons, but that is biggest.



By the way, by waiting until they were older and more ready, my daughters trained themselves in 2 weeks and my older son did it in 3 days.

Kami - posted on 09/07/2011

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I started my son on potty toilet and big potty at 1.5 yrs old and have him stickers when he went but didn't push it. I let him go in his diapers too. He decided he liked undiez better one day and stopped diapers because he wanted to make "mommy happy." He is now 3 yrs old and hes a proud little boyonly has accidents very seldom maybe once every 3mths but I make him know its an accident and its ok and let him help clean it up so he feels better. My son likes mommy to be happy so he likes positive affirmation rather than disappointments.

Carol - posted on 09/07/2011

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We started with a potty seat and books, etc. with our son when he was two. Not interested. Finally on a long camping trip, he trained himself (lots of cool restrooms) at age 3 yrs 3 mos. Our daughter came along and we didn't try anything except buy pretty underwear and put them in her drawer. At age, you guessed it, 3 yrs 3mos., she decided on a Tues. she wanted to be a big girl and by Fri. there were no accidents day or night. I knew then that it was built in and their bodies told them when they were ready. It's neurological!

Samantha - posted on 09/07/2011

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My daughter has been potty trained for nearly 3 weeks now, she is 26 month and done it practically straight away because she was ready, I have had the potty out since she was about 20 month, she knew what is was and what it was there for, she just had no interest. You cant force a child to do something that she doesnt wanna do. My child is still in nappies for bed time as she is a heavy sleeper and is still having wet nights but that is getting less and less as the days go on,

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