agression

Chezzfaye121 - posted on 12/31/2011 ( 10 moms have responded )

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hi this is my first post here and im wondering if anyone can help. i think my oldest son whos 34 months old has aspergers i have been arguing with professionals since he was 6 months and hes now finally at rygate for proper assesments.



im after help with his agression issues hrs attacking his 20 month old brother on a daily basis this can be bightin, kicking, hitting, pulling the metal rod that are part of his bed out and hitting with them, and the most worying is crushing him into the carpet and crushing him. im seriously at my wits end we have been reported to social services and have a support worker and every idea she comes out with would only cause more outburst. he has no warning signs or triggers can anyone help i need help stopping this before he kills his brother

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Amanda - posted on 01/02/2012

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Have you tried providing him with another outlet to let go of his agression??
My son is 3 and can get pretty angry and will bite, kick hit, punch, throw things, scream. I have told him that if he wants to scream then he is to go to his room, close the door and he can scream as loud as he likes, with kicking/hitting/throwing, he has been told he can use a ball in the garden if he wants to kick and throw.
Sometimes giving them an option that is an acceptable way of dealing with the pent up aggression can work.
You can also get mini boxing bags and gloves for little kids, maybe something like that may help too. I know someone who has one for her son and she said it's a great way for him to let off steam. I was considering getting my son one too.

Amy - posted on 01/01/2012

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Honestly my youngest would be in my room until I knew he would be safe with his brother. If you are seriously concerned for the life of your child I wouldnt leave them unsupervised together ever! Even if they are both sound asleep because if the older one wakes up and you don't hear him you are putting your youngest at risk.

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Chezzfaye121 - posted on 01/02/2012

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thanks for that tbh it makes me feel a bit better to know im not the only one and its not something im causingtoday we have had a good day a really good day and they are both snuggled up in bed together its days like this that make me think its all in my mind untill i see the bruises its the first good day since 2 wk before christmas.

Christie - posted on 01/02/2012

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I have been going through the same thing with 5 year old with autism and her almost 4 year old brother. It became so bad he wouldn't leave his room when she is home and he would not even eat with us because he is her trigger. She would see him and attack for no reason. I never wanted to medicate my child bc it wasn't something I believed in. However I could not let my other child live in constant fear so I talked to her doctor. We put her on risperdal and have seen great results. Ofcourse we still have bad days, but now we have days that we can enjoy each other too.

Chezzfaye121 - posted on 01/02/2012

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amanda he currently goes to nursery 3 days a week they both do, we play football we try to anyway his ballance isnt good enough to play properly they are out running around the garden everyday unless its raining.

i dont think the boxing gloves are a good idea while they are sharing a room but i will keep them in mind for when we move thanks

Chezzfaye121 - posted on 01/02/2012

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i dont just think he has aspergers because of the agression but i do think it is linked. for disapline we use time out, naughty step and loosing privilages. i cant not leave them alone at some point they share a bedroom as we currently live in a very small 2 bed and the only time they are alone is nap and bed time

Kaitlin - posted on 01/02/2012

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Is there anything else that makes you think it's Aspergers? Because just his aggression isn't quite it. What is your discipline like? I have two boys of similar ages and we deal with aggression also, but we try to address it immediately. We also don't leave our kids alone- leaving children under 5 together is a serious risk.

Chezzfaye121 - posted on 01/01/2012

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the youngest wont sleep in my bed i have tried this i end up awake half the night dealing with him them have all day to cope with my oldests behaviour i cant even fit his bed into my room as i already have the boys wardrobe and 2x chest of draws. i dont want to take the oldest in either as its just rewarding his behaviour.

at the min we are trying to get emergency rehousing into a 3 bedroom under 4 wk emergency priority but it takes up to 4 wks for a decision

Chezzfaye121 - posted on 01/01/2012

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dont know if iv done this right.

i think its related because he has always shown agressive tendencys which were mainly directed towards me and other adults until his brother came out of the cot. at 1st it was a attack one every few weeks now its almost every night hes actually hit him that hard this morning hes got a black eye.

i dont think its for attention as we have been ignoring it since september and its got worse in this time. the only idea she had was to take his toys off him but the only ones the has any real attachment to is his comfort blanket that he sleeps with

Liz - posted on 01/01/2012

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What makes you think that this violent behaviour is Aspergers related? It could be that your older son is just reacting very strongly to the presence of a younger sibling, whom he feels is stealing your love and affection...especially if his behaviour means that most of the attention he is now getting is negative.

What were the suggestions that the support worker made and did you try any?

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