Agressive 1 year old?

Laura - posted on 02/22/2012 ( 7 moms have responded )

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My daughter is turning one next week and lately she has been slightly moody, throwing tantrums when playing, she suddenly get frustrated and pushes her toys or throws them very hard, crying for no reason, clingy, and now today at daycare the staff told me she has been agressive with the other children, taking their toys and then trying to climb on there backs! Is this normal? She is one of the oldest in the room, the others are still in crawling stage, I know she wants to climb and pull herself up to walk around stuff, but on other babies...this bothers me! Also when nursing she pulls on her hair and trys to pinch me. I try give her a firm "No!" when she acts like this but she either gets madder or laughs.



She is teething molars, but I don't think that's the problem.

She is usually good natured, very high energy. These changes concern me, has anyone else experienced this? Any advice will be so helpful!

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Laura - posted on 02/22/2012

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I thought that she may be bored. She is in the transition of moving to younger toddler classroom. They would like her to walk more before she moves with bigger kids, but maybe it will encourage her to walk more if she sees others her size doing it. I hope the other bigger kids will teach her not to climb on people. Last time she was in there part time a kid bit her on the arm leaving a scar, I'm so happy I at least don't have a biter.



I should try a teething tablet. Thanks!

Heather - posted on 02/22/2012

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Somewhat normal. She is also probably teething? She could have an earache, or something like that. Take her to the ped. and talk to them about what's going on. (The molars coming in can totally make toddlers into little monsters. Infant Motrin can help, so can teething tablets and Hyland's teething gel!)



Maybe it's time to move her to a different day care where there are kids her age and where she can get a slight taste of her own medicine!



It sounds to me like one or more of the other kids in this daycare are doing the same thing to her, or maybe, she is just BORED?

Laura - posted on 02/22/2012

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Thanks! I am just worried. I just don't want these swings to turn into bad habits. I do ask for things she isn't supose to have and she usually hands them over. I am just at a loss of what's happening to my sweet baby. I am embarrassed to get reports like that from daycare. I feel helpless about it, they say they stop her, I just hope it's in a constructive way not jerk her away from the child. Her first birthday party is this weekend with a range of little babies all younger, I am interested to see how she will interactive. I want to believe daycare is over exaggerating, but that may be a mother's desire and not reality.



Thanks again! I thought this isn't suppose to happen until "terrible 2s" I don't read parenting books that just end up stressing me out.

Jenni - posted on 02/22/2012

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I said the "basic concepts". I'm aware children don't master sharing until grade school. My kids learned turn taking between 2-3 years old. But I wouldn't suggest trying to teach a 1 year old as complex of a concept as turn taking.



Just address the taking toys away from other children and finding something else to play with. And start teaching them to give a toy back that another child was playing with first. And it does indeed take a lot of repetition before you see any results.

Kate CP - posted on 02/22/2012

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I'm gonna have to disagree with the idea of introducing sharing with a one year old. They don't grasp the idea of "sharing" or even taking turns until 4 or 5. Most kids don't really learn how to properly "share" until 7 or 8. It's okay to try and teach a young child how to share, but don't expect it of them. It's not a concept they are capable of grasping.



http://children.webmd.com/news/20080826/...

Jenni - posted on 02/22/2012

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First, Welcome to the toddler years! :)



A lot of these behaviours stem from lack of communication. Which will improve over the next few years. She is unable to express her feelings, wants, needs. As a baby she cried, as a toddler she learns new ways to express what she wants, needs, feels.



So now you want to work on giving her the language to express herself. Identify her feelings, wants, needs to her outloud. "(her name) wants ...", "(her name) is mad!", "(her name) is hungry." Basically, speak for her and help her learn how to express herself verbally.



As for the negative behaviour. Considering her young age still. Your best bet is to keep it simple for now. I know you can't do this at daycare. But in any other situation, remove her from the situation and say: "No hitting/pushing/pulling etc it hurts!" If you're holding her or nursing her. Stop. Put her on the floor for a minute.



Start introducing the basic concepts of sharing. If she takes a toy from another child. First, try to convince her to give back on her own. Of course, this takes a lot of repetition. Try for a few minutes and then take the toy and give it back to the other child. "He had it first". Then distract her with another toy or activity.



First year molars are doozies. So they definitely could be contributing to her feeling more cranky and short than usual.

Kate CP - posted on 02/22/2012

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Teething molars is really painful and can cause severe mood swings. So, yea, I would guess her teething is probably making her really cranky. When she's hurting you while nursing your best bet is to tell her "No" and put her down. When she realizes that hurting Mommy means no more nursing she'll stop.

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