ahhh I need help

Vadelrio - posted on 03/24/2014 ( 7 moms have responded )

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My son is in high school and he doesn't want to do homework. He is 14. My kids used to take medication for ADD since he was 6years old. Now after a new physiatrist evaluation the Dr. said he can use some low dosage. we decide to stop with the medications and start with other methods. he has been without medication almost two months. His behavior with the medication was terrible, moody all the time. He is a competition swimmer, he really enjoys swimming. When he come home after school he doesn't have a lot of time to do homework or play. He goes to practice six days in a week 6-8pm and he get out of school at 3:30pm he got home at 3:50pm he ate snacks and start with homework like 4:15pm. if he doesn't have to write he probably be done before 6 ready for practice. I worked as bilingual teacher aid in high school but not in the same school as he is. I always to give space to my kids and to take responsibility for their job at school. yes, I don't check his homework's. Since I was not do in it he start failing in homeworks when I checked online he has a lot incompletes and missing works. When I ask him he always said I don't know. we are really tired of this we tried taking away his games and privileges. He has been without them almost six months. that doesn't worked...

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 03/25/2014

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Well, I don't see what Jodi's said that's got you so pissed off. I'm going to ask the same question:

So, what DOES he do, in place of homework?

You 'tried' taking things away...what else have you tried?

What works excellently for me is to be in contact with my kid's teachers. They all know me anyway, and it's a simple matter for me to confirm what my kid is telling me about homework, and enforce consequences for non compliance.

If he's a 'competition' swimmer, then, theoretically he should be benched for poor grades anyway. Most schools that I'm familiar with in my tri-state area have an academic requirement, and even ONE grade of D or worse will get an athlete benched. If he's not on the school team, and he really enjoys competition swimming, there, my dear, is your 'currency'.

Pull him off the team until his grades improve and stay steady

Jodi - posted on 03/25/2014

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I am a teacher and teach kids this age and have had experience with ADHD kids in education. I also have teenage boys of my own. If my advice is not helping you, then what exactly are you after?

Vadelrio - posted on 03/25/2014

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Jodi, you seem that you have a lot experience the way you write. Again, good luck with THAT!!!

Jodi - posted on 03/25/2014

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Good luck with what? Who are you talking to? I don't need luck with that - that's exactly what has happened around here, and it works.

Now that you have actually given some more information, maybe you can get some actual advice. Maybe your son is tired. Maybe he has too many commitments and it isn't about not wanting to do homework, but more about not having TIME to do it, or when he does, being too tired to concentrate. Children with ADHD have brains that "fire" at a different rate to other kids. They actually have to work twice as hard to focus on their work. Just like other children with various functioning difficulties, they will generally become far more tired than the average child. By the time your son gets home from school in an afternoon, he has not only had swimming practice, but his brain has done twice as much at school as his peers. He is possibly not capable of focusing.

All of this in combination with his hormones raging and massive growth at this age, which also makes a teenage boy very tired.

I am going to suggest that you get a job where you start at 6am and finish at 8pm six days a week and tell me you aren't tired.

So I would suspect this isn't about him not wanting to do his homework, but rather, him just not able to get it done. Something has to give.

Jodi - posted on 03/25/2014

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What DOES he do with his time if he isn't doing homework? Take that away from him until his homework is done.

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