Alcohol During the Holidays with Active Alcoholic

LaDiDa - posted on 11/17/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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We have some alcoholics in our family who will be visiting for the holidays. None of them are recovering alcoholics. All of them still abuse alcohol and are in their 60s or 70s. They show no signs of stopping or wanting to receive help, even though the toll alcohol is taking on them is becoming more apparent to us. My husband and I are social drinkers. I'm curious what your thoughts are on drinking around them or giving them something to drink. They are going to be drinking all day regardless, some out in the open and others secretly, but drinking anyway. Attempts to help them in the past have failed.

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Sarah - posted on 11/17/2013

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I would agree with Jenna. You can't change them, but it also means you should not enable them. I would agree with having the rule of no alcohol allowed in your home while they are visiting. If they want to drink that is there thing, but don't make it easy for them to do so. If you have children I think the no alcohol in the house is also a good role model for them. I think having that rule just sets the example to your children that you can't control what other people do, but you can control what you do and how you act.

Jenna - posted on 11/17/2013

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My husband is a recovering alcoholic, almost 3 years sober. My mother is a very active (secret, or so she thinks) alcoholic. I've learned that you can't help someone who doesn't want help. It usually only makes things worse. We don't allow any alcohol in our home. If you don't want them to drink I would suggest not having alcohol around with them there so it lessens the chances of them having alcohol as well as you both not drinking. Let them get their own alcohol. Don't enable them.

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