alienation from children n grandchildren

Maria - posted on 05/03/2015 ( 8 moms have responded )

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My first question is...My 21 yr old daughter never lets me see my grandson who just turned 3. Never. Tonite she text me at 7:30 n sd r u coming? I had no idea what she meant. She texted bk n sd I sent u a invitation 3 wks ago. Than she says party is at 11 tomm. My question. Do u think that I am wrong in not going. If she did send invite why wld u wait till 14 hrs before party. I feel so awkward because everyone knows that my daughter does not respect me. I am not just a birthday grandmom n I am not going to pit myself through that horrible feeling of not being worthy enough to be the beautiful I want to be. She lives around the corner . I literally have seen him about 8 Times in 3 yrs. Plz help. Ty

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~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/04/2015

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Stop looking to your past and everything you did right. It won't help you. Look to the now and see what you can do and change. Go to the party. If you go with a grudge on your shoulders, it will be apparent.

Make a fuss over your grandchildren. Don't make a fuss over yourself. This may be part of the whole problem.

Michelle - posted on 05/03/2015

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Text talk is not writing full words U for you or plz for please.
It's a lot easier to read if words are written out properly.

I don't doubt you are a good person and you can't control what your ex says about you. All you can hope for is that your children eventually see what he is like and come back to you. Make sure you leave the lines of communication open for when it does happen.

Maria - posted on 05/03/2015

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Thank you taking the time to respond. I greatly appreciate reading others point of view. This is the first time using this forum. What do u mean in ur first paragraph? I don't understand. Your comment... Text talk is....plz stop.. U seem very annoyed about it. Its not intentional n before I respond I want to understand what u meant so I do not do it again. Ty

Maria - posted on 05/03/2015

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Michele it's all about my grandchildren. It just takes an emotional toll on me. We all have our crosses to bear. But how is it possible that u have 5 children That u did the best u cld gave all u had..loved them unconditionally n all 5 look down at you. Show u know respect. Even my oldest who today is a lawyer. I was a single mom had enormous help from my mom. I was 20. Her father totally abandoned her. No where to be found for yrs. Never once did I rec child support but he was taking care of another girls kids..But not his own . When she was 15 he finally got control of his life. Let me say his mother also did so much for me. Fast forward to today.. I am disrespected n her father is everything. How is this possible. You do not know me but I am telling u I am a gd person. My kids always came before my nds. I use to be so close to both my girls. Its so sad that my grandchildren n I are missing out on each other. The few times I saw them either when of us cldnt get enough of each other. I do have a 5 yr old granddaughter who lights up my life through all this darkness. This is not how it is suppose to be. Michele I'm tire of being the bigger person in the sense of putting myself in a position that upsets me. I have always done that. U see at some point u have to stand up for urself. They may not respect me but today I have learned to respect myself. Its not ok how that distance me n my grandchildren. My oldest lives in Maryland so that's understandable. I just think it is selfish that my own children wld prevent their children from seeing a grandmother who just wants to love them.

Michelle - posted on 05/03/2015

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I agree with Little Miss, you need to be the bigger person here and should go. Show them that you want to be a part of your grandchild's life. If you don't go it will cause even more problems.
Don't worry about the adults, it's the children that suffer in the long run and I'm sure you don't want that.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/03/2015

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First of all, text talk is very difficult to read in a paragraph like this. Please stop.

Secondly, you are upset that you don't see your grandchild. Regardless of whether or not your daughter actually sent an invitation, she extended one...period.

If you do not go, there is a chance she may stop contacting you for special events all together. It is important to see your grandchildren every chance you get. I totally understand that you don't want to be a party grandma....but this is not about you. This is about the celebration of a childs birthday. You making it about you is considered narcissitic in itself. Think about it. You should go.

Maria - posted on 05/03/2015

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Hi Michele. Let me explain. I was married for 30 yrs. Seperated for the last 7 due to emotional n mental abuse. I have 5 kids. 2 youngest boys initially went bk n forth for 2 yrs. My daughter lived with me. During this seperation my husband promised to get help so still until today I stood loyal, but I began to notice different things..putting the puzzle together N realized my husband is a narcissistic sociopath. I m not certain if u r familiar. For yrs behind my bk once he he knew he cld no longer manipulate me he began a smear campaign against me telling lie after lie that by the time I reached out for help everyone had my husband the victim n me the crazy bad one. Today my children r brainwashed its very sad. My youngest sd to me with whom I am very close. Mom u know dad loves u.. Dad to care of you for 30 yrs.. I sd. Mark u r only 17 how do u no what ur father was doing. He buys them anything. My daughter never brings the baby around but goes to the house everyday. She makes up excuses. I m not perfect but I live my life according to God's laws n everything that I speak n every action I take I am always conscience not to hurt anyone. I m compassionate. I have begged, cried but I stop that last yr when I realize I can not make them see the truth. I She text me last nite...are u coming tomm..I did no what she meant.. I asked.. she sd oh I send u out a. Invitation.. I sd how long she sd 3 wks ago. Now Michele I most certainly wld respond. She has never send an invitation. She lives with the other grandmom n it is the worst feeling to walk in a party n everyone knows ur the grandmother n they know ur daughter never lets u see him. That's is not who I am. I am so rejected like I dont even exist. There is so much.. that is a base. But thank u for taking the time to answer.

Michelle - posted on 05/03/2015

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I'm wondering why you haven't seen your Grandchildren though.
You haven't explained the background so it's hard to give you advice.

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