Almost 12 year old touching herself?

Clara - posted on 09/18/2016 ( 14 moms have responded )

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One day I caught my daughter who is almost 12 puting her finger into her vagina and watching porn. She's turning 12 in 3 months so shes too young for that. She had pants on so her finger wasn't actually inside of her. I'm kind of worried. Help?

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E - posted on 09/19/2016

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Well, A little concerned about how she got ahold of porn? As for the touching, she is at that age.. I know how you feel, I shuddered when I learned discreetly that my daughter was at the "exploratory" age.

Maybe have a conversation about it with her? Whatever you do, please do not shame her. She may be feeling bad about your discovery, and embarrassed.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 09/20/2016

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Masturbation is normal. Porn, at 12 is not. Remove the computer from her room

Ittybittybetty - posted on 09/19/2016

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sound like somewhere she may have been exsposed to that before , dont be afraid to talk to her without anger .

Jodi - posted on 09/19/2016

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She does not need the computer or internet access in her room. This happened because of lack of supervision on the internet. Remove the computer from her room and place it in an area of the house where you CAN supervise. And password the computer so she can only use it when supervised.

Liz, 12 is not really a little young. This is typically an age at which both boys and girls will start to explore a little more.

Liz - posted on 09/18/2016

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There are so many variables to this. Hormones raging at 12...sounds a little young but in some cultures females have been viewed as women as early as that...Masturbation went from a practice to repress to be considered 'normal'...except it easily becomes compulsive and then it is more disruptive than 'normal'. Few youngsters would like a conversation on sex matters with their parents. Forbidding is not going to stop. It has to. be viewed along with other physical activity, quality of work at school and after school, etc...A 12-yr old is certainly not supposed to have access to porn. Feeding fantasies can only turn an occasional act into a progressive addiction. I would personally focus first upon the source of porn (could it come from friends' influence?) And then make sure her intimate hygiene is perfect (irritation may be a cause) and she has plenty of other activities she can direct her energy to instead of a self-centered game play.

Michelle - posted on 09/18/2016

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You can put parental controls on the computers.
I know you can't watch them all the time but you can control what they do on the computer. Have the computer in a public area in the house so she won't go on porn sites.
She can have her privacy when she proves to you that she can be trusted. She needs to earn it.

Dove - posted on 09/18/2016

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She can absolutely have privacy in her bedroom... which is why the computer doesn't belong in her bedroom.

Clara - posted on 09/18/2016

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Ok thanks for the help. It's hard because I can't supervise her all the time. She needs her privacy once in a while and I can't always be with her.

Dove - posted on 09/18/2016

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She is too young to have any unsupervised internet access. Keep the computer in a family area and definitely put some parental controls or blocks in place.

Clara - posted on 09/18/2016

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She has a desktop in her room and she watches it from there. I am going to talk to her about it and tell her she shouldn't watch it.

Michelle - posted on 09/18/2016

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I agree with the other ladies.
The masturbation is normal but watching porn is concerning. How has she had access to it? That's what you need to address.

Dove - posted on 09/18/2016

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How is she accessing porn? Eliminate that as porn is unacceptable and unrealistic. Touching herself is perfectly normal, but it is private and needs to be done in the bathroom or bedroom w/ the door locked and clean hands to avoid infection.

Talk to her. Be open and honest about her curiosity and that it is NORMAL... but reinforce that no one ELSE should be touching her body for a long, long time still. Sex talks between the two of you should have started a couple of years ago, so if you haven't started yet... start now.

Jodi - posted on 09/18/2016

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Well, it isn't too young for masturbation, as her hormones are probably raging at this age, but time to have a conversation with her about porn and block her from watching it - how is it that she was able to watch it in the first place?

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