Almost 18 son failing high school

Heather - posted on 11/09/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )




my son is going to be 18 in 10 days. he is failing 3 core classes and my fear is he wont graduate. he has also signed up for the navy (delayed enlistment program) and if he doesn't graduate wont be able to go to basic and may get discharged. he wont find a job, had one and was fired in two weeks. wont do homework. wont do chores unless I monitor him every second. argues with his father and I constantly- we've had conversations, screaming matches, reward systems, counseling, psychiatrist, verbal agreements, written agreements, etc.. for the past 5 years. my husband is at the point that he doesnt care anymore and just wants to kick him out. i feel like i should continue this insane journey to try and get him to graduate. my husband feels like im just trying to protect him like i have his whole life and i think i am, but I'm sickened by the thought of kicking him out in 10 days. however I'm loosing my mind, our home life is one big stress ball and our poor daughter (15) has to live with this too. its extremely hard on our marriage as well. any advice?


Raye - posted on 11/09/2015




If your son is legal age and not living up to his responsibilities, then you're not helping him by allowing him a free ride to keep doing the same. You're not helping your daughter by teaching her that it's okay to act and treat people that way. You're not helping your marriage by ignoring your husband's counsel. You're allowing your home to be a hostile living environment.

Your son needs to learn that there are consequences to his actions. Because you apparently have not taught him that yet, it's going to be a rude awakening now. You need to set house rules that he MUST follow, tell him the consequence is him being kicked out if he refuses to follow the rules, and then be prepared to follow through on your promise. If he knows what the consequence is and he makes the choice to keep breaking the rules, then you should not feel bad for following through with your promise. Give him a time limit to find a new place to live, and if he doesn't move out, have him evicted. Tough love.

1 Comment

View replies by

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms