Alone and crying.

Melinda - posted on 04/12/2016 ( 11 moms have responded )

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My son is 17 and moved away to live with his Dad about 6 months ago. He will not talk to me ,or answer a text message and he has me blocked from his FB account. I have tried to leave him alone and I have tried to continue to send messages ,I try different things and still no response from him. It hurts deeply and then I get so angry. I just don't understand why he is doing this. He said he doesn't want me anymore ,that his step mom is his mom now. We were so close until he and his Dad had a fight ,then when they resolved it he left me. I don't know what to do,I know time is supposed to heal everything but so many people are dying around me and I'm afraid something will happen to him or myself before we can fix this. I really need help.

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Dove - posted on 04/13/2016

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♥ I'm sorry! Go ahead and text him (if you aren't blocked from his phone) every couple of weeks or once every month or two... just to let him know that you love him and you are thinking about him. But don't push him to communicate or get angry at him for not communicating. It is OK if you feel hurt and/or angry, but don't put your feelings on him.

Just to let you know... I pretty much had zero relationship w/ my mom from 16-25, but I couldn't imagine my life w/out her in it at all now.

Stephanieriker - posted on 04/13/2016

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He's young he will realize your his mom and you willl love him unconditionally it may take time but he will come around

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 04/18/2016

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“I do not try to guilt trip him and if you are a mom I hope you never get put in the same position I am in”~~OF COURSE I’m a mother, dear, this is a MOTHER’S site! Nor did I say that you WERE trying to guilt him. I said (and quote) “TRYING TO GUILT HIM INTO IT”, as in IF you are trying. Not THAT YOU ARE. Not to mention, sweetie, my kids are grown. Been there, done that. I speak from a few years of experience.
“It is a long story”~~It always is, with kids. I don’t think a short story exists for kids.
“Of how he left and how his ear manipulated by his father and his stepmother they are promising him money to go to court and lie for them. So they will be able to get money from someone that did nothing to them that was from my father that he and his dad head turned out to be pretty bad when the other person's tempted to stop it he never laid a hand on him and now they are going to court and Psion the other person hit his dad. And suing for $7600.”~~What this has to do with your relationship with your son makes no sense.
“They have let him smoke marijuana”~~If it’s not legal where they live, then turn them in! Simple solution there
“And his dad's sister is the one who told me this and I can't do anything about it but sit by and wait.”~~Hearsay is not admissible in court, and if you’re going on hearsay and not proof, no one can help you.

Melinda - posted on 04/17/2016

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I do not try to guilt trip him and if you are a mom I hope you never get put in the same position I am in. It is a long story. Of how he left and how his ear manipulated by his father and his stepmother they are promising him money to go to court and lie for them. So they will be able to get money from someone that did nothing to them that was from my father that he and his dad head turned out to be pretty bad when the other person's tempted to stop it he never laid a hand on him and now they are going to court and Psion the other person hit his dad. And suing for $7600. They have let him smoke marijuana. And his dad's sister is the one who told me this and I can't do anything about it but sit by and wait.

Melinda - posted on 04/17/2016

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I sent him 3 messages about a week apart that only said ;I love you Josh, then I sent one on another week that was a post I found on line that said ; my Son I wish you the strength to face challenges with confidence...along with the wisdom to choose your battles carefully... I wish your adventure on your journey and May you always stop to help someone along the way...listen do your heart and take risk carefully ...remember how much you are loved ...I am so proud of you
The last one was sent on April the fifth.
I appreciate you for trying to help. It is very hard to know I am loosing so much time with him. We aren't promised tomorrow.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 04/13/2016

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I really think you'd benefit from counseling. You cannot expect your kids to stay with you ALWAYS.

You haven't really left your son to his own devices, and let him live, have you. You really need to back off! He'll come around when he's ready, and you trying to guilt him into it isn't going to work out well.

Jodi - posted on 04/12/2016

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Maybe you need to just back off for a while. You said it has only been 6 months - you haven't really given it a chance with just backing off. I know you said you've tried to leave him alone, but how long did you give it with leaving him alone? When you say you tried sending him messages, what did the messages say? Chances are he doesn't feel you are respecting his decision - what kind of things are you saying to him when you are in contact with him?

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