Alright Mamas, I need some advice...

Skylar - posted on 04/16/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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.. I am the mother of a beautiful 6 year old little girl. About 2.5 years ago her father and I seperated on a very bad note (domestic violence) and since then so much has happened... Last year he got married and within a month had filed for full custody, (now let me just say our daughter has always been with me, he has never held a job or really stuck around long enough to get comfortable in our lives, he was more just there to stay home with her while I worked.. He was always out or doing something else, when he would get her on the weekends she would end up at his mothers not with him).. I know that this is ALL fueled by his wife because up until they got married (within a year of meeting) he couldve cared less. Now with that being said, she has told me multiple times she refuses to respect me, she will do as she pleases with my daughter because she is married to her father. Recently she took my daughter to a doctor (whom she has never seen before) and I have yet to even find out what the doctors appointment was for after asking for the doctors name or the paperwork multiple times. When I call on the weekends to speak with my daughter, I get no responses and no replies.. We are headed to trial in July and I just need help coping and how do I talk to my daughter about all of the things that are going on?.. She is confused and scared to death that she will have to spend the summer with her dad and step-mom.. How do you explain to a 6 year old thats it's going to be okay, when as a Mommy I'm not even sure myself how to handle it??.. Please help Moms..

3 Comments

View replies by

Christine - posted on 04/16/2013

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You are very welcome! That's all she needs to hear, everything is going to be okay. I know even at my age, hearing that makes me feel okay :) Keep that head up and if you need anything, feel free to message me! I'll help in any way I can!

Skylar - posted on 04/16/2013

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I agree with your advice 100% Christine and I truly appreciate it. I will continue to do what I'm doing and I will be sure to let her know, it will be okay! This is a very hard time for us, so the encouraging words are so enlightening.. Thank you, :)

Christine - posted on 04/16/2013

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I can relate, as my son's father is a bit unsteady himself. I would like to say from my own personal experience. WRITE EVERYTHING DOWN, TIME AND DATE. It will help when you go to court. There isn't much you can do as far the step-mom goes, obviously she seems a bit immature. If she was, everyone would agree that all of you need to do what is best for your daughter and stressing her out is not what is best.

I think it is best to keep in mind how mature your daughter is, can she handle the truth? How much does she know already? But I always think it is important to support the relationship between her and her father. When she is old enough, she will find the truths and be able to decide on her own. Let her do that, for now, just support her and show her how much you love her and want her to be happy and that no matter what you will be there for her. Children need to hear that. Sometimes they feel as if they MUST pick sides. Please, don't do that to her. That can be emotionally damaging.

But for now, time and date everything that is of concern to you. Even if it is a little something someone said. It will help in court. You might also want to see who has "full custody" or try getting full custody. I do know, the parent who has it makes all the medical decisions. And I highly doubt he will be granted custody if he hasn't had it in YEARS! It usually goes to the mother. And if you have proof of why he shouldn't, bring that stuff to the table.

Best advice, show/tell your daughter it will be okay, because eventually, it will be. time and date everything on a notebook. don't feed into their immature games. just focus on being the best mom you can be and everything will be okay :) Good luck!!!

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