Always At Fault

J - posted on 12/14/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




I just got in a fight with my boyfriend. The fight happened because I didn't believe something he told me. He got mad I kept questioning if it was true or not.
I realized a few minutes later while taking some time to myself...that he had no right to get mad I didn't believe him....because he admitted to lying to me and I missed it.

Yesterday he told me his friend was flirting with a girl, when he has a girlfriend. I got a little angry because the girlfriend doesnt deserve that.
Today, the first thing my boyfriend says to me when he sees me is "Ya know how yesterday I told you ___ was flirting with ___. Well I lied. ___ just wanted to see if you would judge him for flirting or not. He didn't actually flirt with her, he just wanted me to tell you he did.

I kept asking questions, asking what the point of fooling me like that was. It was so dumb I believed there was more to the story. So ofcorse I kept asking. I admit...I probably should have dropped it.

My boyfriend got so mad I didn't believe him and that I kept poking at it.
Yet I realized..... he should have no right to be mad I didn't believe him, because the first thing he said to me today when he saw me was "babe, that thing I said yesterday, I lied."

He got so mad that he told me a few days ago he promised to stop little white lying to me.....he got so mad I didn't believe this. saying he hasnt lied to me since.
Well. He lied to me yesterday.

Am I really at fault for pointing this out? calmly. When he got so mad and basically blew up.
Am I at fault for this fight???


Angela - posted on 12/14/2013




No you're not at fault.

Next time he asks your opinion on some situation, don't ask if he's telling the truth, just say "Well, if this is what happened I think ......

Qualify your opinion with "If this is true ..." or "If this is right ..." or even "I have no idea! I'm not interested ..."

He'll soon get the message that he can't play games with you.

Better still - just dump this man - he has some growing up to do and sounds quite manipulative.

Good luck!

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