Am i a bad mother for not being able to put up with my childs behaviour anymore

Sharon - posted on 04/11/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I have spent the last 5 years being bullied by my child. They have put me down at evey opportunity and have made me feel worthless and a failure as a mother. Even though i was treated so badly i still love them, and i know people will say that i should of stopped them but i was already suffering depression and having to come to terms with having a disability and this is when the problems started.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 04/11/2014

13,264

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2015

Um...if they're adults, why are they still living in your home, on your dollar?

If they were 16 & 20 when you initially were disabled, the 20 YO at that time should have already been on their own, and the 16 YO should not have been allowed to treat you poorly from the start.

Now that the 20 YO is 24, and the 16 YO is 20...Kick them out!

Sharon - posted on 04/11/2014

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Hi Shawnn

Thank you for the reply, but when the disability took hold the children where 16 and 20 and they where sat down and it was explained which is when the 16 year old start with the behavior and disrespect and she is now 20 and it has just got worse. I am on the verge of asking her to go to live with her dad.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 04/11/2014

13,264

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2015

No, not a bad mother, necessarily, but when you made the decision to ignore their initial behaviour due to other circumstances, you basically sealed your fate.

I sympathize with disability. My husband is medically disabled, unable to work outside the home for any appreciable amount of time due to that disability. It does take adjustment, but in that adjustment, you must include your kids.

Now you need to sit them all down, explain your expectations, and what they need to do, set a list of agreed upon actions and consequences, and start enforcing. Don't expect it to be easy, because it's not going to be. Good luck

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