Am I asked for letting neighborhood kids in my house?

Courtney - posted on 04/27/2015 ( 5 moms have responded )

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Since moving into this development in Aug, I have become the neighborhood mom, you know, the one who has freezee pops, water, fruit snacks & bandages for the kids in the 'hood. I am definitely an extrovert & can be described as a free-spirit & young @ heart. I have a six year old daughter who is just as much as a people person as I am.. .our house/yard has been the congregating spot for the last couple of months. I really don't have a problem with the kiddos stepping in, my daughter is my only child...always wanted to have a handful of kids, but have no $ & my boyfriend is much older (he is done). I threw a birthday party for my daughter almost two weeks ago & my parents were PISSED about me letting the kids in & out of my house, on a sometimes basis.. .one time my mom called me, heard kids in the background & I got yelled & lectured at. I talked to my boyfriend about it & it turns out he's not comfortable with the kids inside the house & he said that's not normal to be so open & welcoming. He enjoys his quiet time & is concerned about being looked as a pervert/child molester, so he don't let him in. I checked on other boards & it seems like I'm the minority. Most parents don't play that & don't feel like dealing with other people's kids. Am I weak (like my mom says I am) or weird for letting the kids step into my house? When my mom calls me & hears my daughter running back & forth, she says I need to nip it in the bud, before she becomes a problem teenager. How do I handle this? Do you let the neighborhood kids in your house?

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Ev - posted on 04/29/2015

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I live in an apartment complex. Once this boy I did not know but had seen riding around on his bike sometimes came in to my apartment uninvited and played games with my son on the game machine. He then wanted to go to the bathroom. I did let him use it but still...this child thought he had the right to just enter. I told my son next time not to let him in.

Gena - posted on 04/28/2015

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Another thing about the snacks. I had the problem that our neighbors girl was not aloud to have ice cream. Even in summer,she is only aloud on one day of the week. So I had the problem that my son would get an ice cream and the other girl would cry and be upset. It was frustrating because somehow I felt bad for letting my son eat ice cream in front of her. But then again its not my fault if she isn't allowed. What really bothered me was that the kids would be here the whole day and get special snacks and ice cream that I actually bought for my son. What really annoyed me was that the parents never even came to say thank you.
The kids still come and play and they are more then welcome to. But I am not willing to feed all of them and they know they can't just come and use our bathroom. If the kids are playing inside they may ofcourse. I will also give them drinks and snacks. But not when all the kids are in our yard playing outside.

Raye - posted on 04/28/2015

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I had friends that lived down the block from me, and their aunt lived next door to me. They would always hit up their aunt for snacks and she willingly gave them to any kids that were with her niece and nephew. However, I always felt that they took advantage of her kindness and even family should not just expect handouts every time they show up at the door.

There was also a friend of my ex that had what I call "free range children" that he let run all over the place. They were visiting our house (they lived 3 hours away) and his kids went into our neighbor's yard and started playing without being invited, and the youngest girl just walked into their house to use the bathroom instead of coming back over to our house. These people had never met this girl that walked in like she owned the place. I was so embarrassed.

With my step-kids, they can only have people in the house if our kids ask us first, and it's usually only one at a time and we know where they are and what they're doing. We rarely say no to letting a friend come in, unless we're getting ready to leave or it's bedtime or something, but they still have to ask. We also rarely give the other kids snacks, because we don't know what their parents would want them to have/not have. So it's easier not to than get parents upset with us.

I think it's great if you can offer kids a safe environment to play, but just make sure that they're not overstepping or learning rude behavior, and that it's not inconveniencing your BF.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 04/28/2015

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I was the neighborhood kid house. I enjoyed it, and the kids still today know that they are ALWAYS welcome, and that the door isn't locked to them.

Gena - posted on 04/27/2015

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I posted a simular post last year because i was "the free babysitter of the hood". The kids were also always playing by us and i handed out juice and snacks and they would use our bathroom. I would have to watch them all day and never got a simple thank you from their mothers. I found it real stressfull and had enough of it. I made new rules that works much better now. If the kids need the bathroom they can go home to use their bathroom,not ours anymore. The same with drinks and snacks. If they are thirsty or hungry they must go ask their moms for something. If only one child is playing with my son and he wants water i will give the other child a cup of water aswell. But not when 5+ kids are here. I just dont do it anymore! They arent aloud to come into our house to just take toys etc. Unless i give them permission to.
I find it much better now. I don't see why we have to entertain other peoples children all day and feed them. I also think children must learn that they can't just go into the house. It's your private space and they must learn to respect that.

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