Am I being abused and is it all my fault?

[deleted account] ( 6 moms have responded )

I have been with my boyfriend for 11years. We are always arguing? One night he had his male company over on my childs first birthday. He told me he was having his friend over and for me and my kids to go to our rooms. So before I went we sang happy birthday to my baby. Everything seemed to be ok he was laughing and joking. Afterwards me and my children went to our rooms. I had to use the restroom so I did he became angry because of it. He got angry cause my daughter went to the bathroom shes 7 at the time. Later that evening he wanted to play a video game with his friend but he did not know how to play it. He called my name and I responded. Then he said nevermind I got it. Then called me again for the same thing. So i finally helped him with the game. He got angry with me because I knew how to work the game and he didnt. So he called all types of name under the sun. In front of his friend. I'm like what did I do wrong. I started crying cause I'm clueless of what happened. His friend called him an idiot. I went back to my room crying and I didnt come back out. Later after his friend left he came to my room and said what is your problem I told you I was having company. Then he left the room. So I left the room to ask why did he do what he did earlier. He told me because he dont want me around his friends. I told him I am tired of arguing with him and I dont care where he goes. He then grabs me by my throat and pushes me so hard that I fail to the kitchen floor backwards hitting my head. So I put him out and he said if he seen any member of my family and if they spoke to him he will hurt them. So I had no choice but to bring him back to my home. I'm so scared to argue with him I am afraid that if I voice anything that he will get angry and hit me. He came home from work last night and he seemed like everything was ok but I went to tell him about my day and he completely ignored me. When we went to bed he decided to tell me what he dislikes about me so much. So I sat there and listened. He got mad because I would not respond to anything he said or asked. I knew if I did that we would argue and fight again. Now he won't speak to me at all. I feel like everything is my fault. I dont have any friends he has alinated me from most of my family so I am alone. I just need some advice on what I should do? Please do not report this I am really scared.

This conversation has been closed to further comments

6 Comments

View replies by

Gena - posted on 09/17/2013

303

1

655

Maybe you could look for a free abuse hotline that you can talk to somebody about the abuse and they could help you get out of the situation.

Gena - posted on 09/17/2013

303

1

655

When i was reading the first part i thought to myself. WTF! Exuse my language...Why the hell must YOU AND YOUR KIDS go to the room!? That is just not ok..and then i read the rest. YES you are being abused and NO its NOT your fault!!
You and your kids deserve much better. Please try to get away as soon as possible. This is not good for you and your children! You need help,try finding a place that Cecilia mentiond. Get the police involved to protect you and your family. I wish you good luck and always remember you deserve better!

Cecilia - posted on 09/16/2013

1,380

16

425

My advice- RUN. Run as fast as you can anywhere you can. If family can't help you out go to a woman's shelter. Look in the phonebook if you don't know where to find one. Some even have vans to pick you and your things up.

It isn't going to be easy, I know this first had. You do not need this type of person in your life ever. Your children are learning a very important lesson by watching you allow this. You are teaching them it is okay for someone to treat them this way.

I left my ex husband and all I took was a grocery bag of my son's clothes and a diaper bag with formula and diapers. Nothing else. Best thing I had ever done. Seriously. No one has the right to make you feel small. No one has the right to call you names, and NO ONE has a right to hurt you physically EVER.

If he puts his hands on you before you end up leaving call the cops. Get a PFA (protection from abuse) put on him so he can't come back to the house. If he knocks on the door don't even fall for his "baby"s and his " I love you" or "I'll change" It's all bullshit. If he knocks on the door, call the cops. If he threatens you even by phone, call the police. Oh and get the PFA to list the children. This will keep him from showing up at their school. If he does, they will call the police.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms