Am I being irrational here am I full of Jealous rage and resentment?

Claire - posted on 12/02/2015 ( no moms have responded yet )

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my Ex has had a son, clap clap yay for him and my daughter now has a sibling. It hurts me man that crap was like a smack in the face I cried I felt jealous and still do. I keep asking myself why do I feel this way my kid is 10 I haven't been with her father on a intimate level in over 6 years or longer and I feel like my kid is a newborn and I'm competing.
My ex told me about the pregnancy I cried like a baby, its like he wanted me to be happy for him, but how can I be happy for someone who doesn't want to be in my child's life unless I reach out to him, he knows my child exists but never calls to see how she is doing. Never sets up weekend visits where each weekend or every other weekend he consistently gets her without me having to ask. I cant be happy for someone like that at all. I recently told him and yes out of bitterness , jealousy and pain yes all emotion that my daughter will never know that baby it will take me some time to accept this. He was upset but I had to express how I felt. Apart of me wants to cut all ties. He says him and that child's mother are just co-parents But I think he says that to make me feel at ease. Oh I'm jealous because although the relationship ended by me deciding to finally leave him alone I have always dealt with me raising my child alone. 24/7 me me me.... yeah he gives money but isn't he supposed to that's his obligation as a parent, but I guess being there physically isn't, by being there I mean having a consistent schedule where he gets her and I don't have call and ask him to do it.

Am I being irrational here am I full of Jealous rage and resentment?

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