Angela - posted on 01/30/2013 ( 8 moms have responded )
My baby's father is nasty to me if he is woken up in the middle of the night.
He regularly threatens me that if he is woken in the middle of the night, he will permanently leave me and my children.
I get severe insomnia/anxiety in the middle of the night due to other issues revolving the relationship and past things he has done to me that cause me to be severely anxious.
I often wake at 1-3:00 a.m. with panic attacks or nightmares.
Sometimes I feel like I need a hug or some support or reassurance because my self esteem hurts from all the bad things he has said to me and done to me during/after my pregnancy.
He says that it is not his responsibility to make me happy (I know that it's not, but that doesn't change the things he did or said to hurt me).
If I try to get support from him, it erupts into extreme personal attacks to my core. Last time, he went so far as to walk out the door at 5a.m.
I don't want to leave because I don't want to split up my 4 month old baby and I already share custody with 2 older children.
I take sleeping pills to get to sleep.
I wake up then take anti-anxiety medication just to get through the night.
Yesterday he was on a tirade again and threatened again that if my problems interrupt his sleep, he will leave us.
Last night, I slept in my daughter's room in the middle of the night.
I am terrified to even get in bed with him at this point due his threat.
I woke up at 1 a.m. and just cried.
He used to comfort me.
It hurts deeply that he won't hold me at night, won't make love to me in the morning like he used to. Due to his requests that I not cuddle him at night, not wake him at night, and not initiate lovemaking in the morning, I don't want to be intimate with him anymore.
I am feeling less and less love for him, knowing he will not support me.
He says no man would stay with me if I had insomnia and woke them up too.