Tracey - posted on 02/27/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )
I have 2 beautiful girls 6 and 4 and my little boy is 7 months. I didn't think it would matter having a boy but I always wanted a boy and was so lucky to have him. We tossed the idea around for the 3rd for about a year and then one day just decided to go for it and I wouldn't look back, it was the best decision I have made. I love him so much that I would love another boy to add to my family but think i'm a little crazy for doing so.
I'm not sure i'm wanting it for the right reasons. My desire to breastfeed is very strong and I have always had troubles breastfeeding and with baby no 3 we got a little bit further than the girls but still didn't get to breastfeed. I had to pump and was doing so for about 2 months when my supply dropped and i had to try and take everything i could to boost it up again and we lasted another month. My goal was to get to at least 6 months and I would of been totally happy with my efforts but I still feel now I didn't do enough and I didn't reach my goal.
Mind you I do feel I am a little hard on myself as I do have flat nipples which makes life even harder to breastfeed but it has been my one goal to acheive and still wish to get there.
So my question is am I only wanting to go back for no 4 for my own benefits and to satisfy myself and my goals or do I really want that extra child. I can't seem to get over the guilt of not breastfeeding for as long as I wanted to. I love all my kids and love being a stay at home and bringing another one into the family would change the dynamic of the household in a good way.
My husband is great with the kids and is always hands on and he has a good secure job that I know we can afford to have another one.
I would love to say just do it and see what happens but I have conceived all my kids very quickly so therefore if we decide to do it then we have to prepared to fall pregnant straight away.
I feel there is something missing in my family and I don't feel like i'm done with kids yet, I never ever thought I would have 4 kids, never really thought i would have 3. I only ever wanted one boy and one girl but now I feel very different about it.
My girls are so close in age and they are great with each other, sometimes can be a little crazy but they keep each other occupied and they have someone to play with. So i'm thinking the same for my boy, I'm thinking how great it would be for him to have a little brother to play with other than his big sisters (who seem to fight over him already).
Any advice would be great but I just needed to get this off my chest
and to get advice from someone other than family, cause they all think we were crazy to go for no 3.
Thanks in advance :)