Am I going overboard with safety?

Brooke - posted on 03/09/2011 ( 5 moms have responded )




My son is 8 years old, and I usually pick him up at the corner of his school block, so he can walk some of the way with his friends. From a very early age, I have taught him not to go with ANYONE unless they know the secret password.
A few weeks ago, I was running a bit late, due to his brother being sick. I was worried that he would be in a panic, so was trying to rush. As I started up the street, imagine my surprise to see him come around the corner with my father.
I was quite happy about this, and thanked my Dad for bringing him home. That is, until he mentioned that they had not come straight home, he had taken him around the block to see his tenant. At this point I was shocked, as I knew that my father did not know the password at all.
My husband can not see what is wrong here, as it was, after all, his Granddad. I tried to tell him that it is not the person that matters, but the fact that he went somewhere else without checking the safety word.
After all, what if Granddad WASN'T safe? What if he was trying to take him away? I know it would never happen, but not every bad guy has a scary mask. And bad guys are all someone's family, too.
Do you think I have a right to be angry about this?
The other thing is, what if I hadn't been late? I would have got to the corner and been freaking because my kid wasn't there, especially if his friends had told me he went off with some old guy!


~Jennifer - posted on 03/09/2011




It's his grandfather.....of course he's going to go with him if you're not there.
I think you're being overly cautious about this. If his grandfather wasn't 'safe' you'd have already told your child never to leave or go anywhere with him.
You were late. Better that he was picked up by his grandfather in your absence than some pedophile in a windowless van because YOU weren't where you should have been on time.
Maybe you should tell a few close family members that you trust your 'password' so that they can avoid unnecessary anger from you when they do you a favor.
......just my thoughts.


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Jodi - posted on 03/09/2011




Brooke, have you ever delved into WHY you feel so over-protective? It is normal to be protective of your children, but this is just way over the top. Is it something you have sought some counselling for? Just as a suggestion, it may not be a bad idea.

Brooke - posted on 03/09/2011




Ok, thanks ladies. I already know that I have a serious problem with being over-protective, and I'm trying, I really am. I didn't realise how bad it was until I told my kid he could ride around the block on his bike and he looked at me like I was crazy! At that point I realised I needed to let go a bit- well, a lot! I know it's ridiculous, but sometimes I can't help it. I will definitely try harder.

Medic - posted on 03/09/2011




Its his freaking grandfather, chill out. We have a password too but there are certain people that are exempt from his grandparents and one of my close friends. It kind of seems like your just looking for a reason to be mad at someone who did you a favor because YOU were not where YOU should have been. No I don't think you have the right to be angry, he was never told he shouldn't go with his grandpa and maybe if you were on time his grandpa would have met you there and asked to walk with him and who cares that they didn't come strait home. Back the helicopter up a bit and look at the positive side of it.

Bonnie - posted on 03/09/2011




Do I think you have a right to be angry about this? Yes and No. Yes, because your son knows the deal with the secret password and it probably should have come to his mind what you agreed on. No because your son saw a family member that he is obviously close with.

IMO, I don't think this is a true test of your son's capabilities. If it was a complete stranger or someone who he may see around from time, he probably would have clued in. If you had been on time you probably would have freaked not finding your son there and you would of had every right to. I definitely would be the same. I think your father should have contacted you earlier on and asked if it would be okay.

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