Am I going to lose custody?

[deleted account] ( 3 moms have responded )

I have a beautiful 7 ur old girl who has lived with me since her father and I have split 6 yrs ago. About a month ago she wanted to stay with her dad because she got in trouble and was mad at me so I fb her dad and said she wants to stay with u for awhile and brought her clothes there and let her stay for a week however he refused to give her back and went and got a lawyer and is now trying to get full custody of her. I finally got her back and refuse to give her to him because I'm afraid he will keep her again. I don't do drugs or drunk I am a very good mother but a few months ago my 3 yr old took off in me while I was cleaning and went next door to ride his bike when I noticed he was t in the house the cops were alrdy there to arrest me. The case was dropped because I do not neglect my kids and it was a terrible mistake. But he is going to court with his snooty unprofessional lawyer to gain full custodybof my daughter and using that as his fight and claims I have no income and has had many boyfriends. However I am a disabled veteran on a fixed budget and I have only lived with 2 diff men in 7yrs which is pretty good. We live in a four bedroom house in the country and her father has a one bedroom apartment with bunk beds whom he shares with his daughter... Kinda weird!! I cannot afford a lawyer but I will be damned if he takes her away from me when he has very poor hygiene and smokes pot everyday!! What can I do as a mother with no lawyer to fight him in this case? Do I have anything to worry about?

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 09/26/2013

13,264

21

2015

Funny how you take it to be against you, when (using the information from your post) I simply responded to the questions as stated.

Since you did not care to clarify that you've already got a custody agreement in force, I responded as I do to ANY question regarding custody that hasn't been through the courts.

And my advice about the lawyer, again, is generic advice that I'd give to anyone.

Now, to respond to the rest, a parent sharing a room with a child is NOT uncommon, especially if there are space issues to be considered, or in the case of cosleeping, which is actually quite common these days. As a matter of fact, after my parents divorced, my dad had to have us share his room on his weekends, as he only HAD a studio apt.

A vehicle is not a necessity, it's considered a luxury, so that, again, is not uncommon, nor can it be used against him.

I did NOT attack you. I simply responded to your post. Had you started with "I have a custody agreement in which I am primary custodial parent, and her father has visitation", I'd have probably responded that it's time to take him back to court and have his visitation amended to supervised.

There, feel better? Before you attack me for responding to your original post as you wrote it, perhaps YOU should re-read it?

"I have a beautiful 7 ur old girl who has lived with me since her father and I have split 6 yrs ago.(NO MENTION ABOUT YOUR CUSTODY AGREEMENT) About a month ago she wanted to stay with her dad because she got in trouble and was mad at me so I fb her dad and said she wants to stay with u for awhile and brought her clothes there and let her stay for a week however he refused to give her back and went and got a lawyer and is now trying to get full custody of her. (AGAIN, NO MENTION OF AGREEMENT ALREADY IN PLACE) I finally got her back and refuse to give her to him because I'm afraid he will keep her again. I don't do drugs or drunk I am a very good mother but a few months ago my 3 yr old took off in me while I was cleaning and went next door to ride his bike when I noticed he was t in the house the cops were alrdy there to arrest me. The case was dropped because I do not neglect my kids and it was a terrible mistake. But he is going to court with his snooty unprofessional lawyer to gain full custodybof my daughter and using that as his fight and claims I have no income and has had many boyfriends. However I am a disabled veteran on a fixed budget and I have only lived with 2 diff men in 7yrs which is pretty good. We live in a four bedroom house in the country and her father has a one bedroom apartment with bunk beds whom he shares with his daughter... Kinda weird!! I cannot afford a lawyer but I will be damned if he takes her away from me when he has very poor hygiene and smokes pot everyday!! What can I do as a mother with no lawyer to fight him in this case? Do I have anything to worry about?"

[deleted account]

Funny how ur so against me when u clearly need to reread my post!!!! Makes me wonder if u know her father or lawyer lol first of all I have full custody already and he does have an unprofessional bitch of a lawyer whom I know very well and I have every right to have my own opinion on but would not act or speak my opinion in court. Now just to give u a little more info her father shares a room with her which is not normal!! He has a full time job but no vehicle in 4 years! I refuse to provide the transportation both ways!! He kidnapped my daughter for 2 weeks and would not let me speak to her so before u attack me and stand up for her father then maybe u should put urself in my shoes and tell me how u would react when ur daughter is taken from u but I don't expect anyone to understand nor do I want someone to attack me for protecting my daughter because she is my life!!

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 09/26/2013

13,264

21

2015

He's got 50% "rights" to her, if he's her biological father. If you don't have a custody agreement in place (and it sounds as if you don't), he's got every right to file for partial custody, just as you do.

Check out legal aid options in your area, and prepare to go to court to get this straightened out. Just as you say he has no proof about his allegations against you, neither do you have proof of your allegations against him, and proof is required to have a parent declared unfit.

Be prepared to begin shared custody once the court makes its determination about the case.

And a word of advice: Just because he's got an attorney and is taking you to court, you need to act like an adult. Unfounded accusations will get you nowhere, nor will an argument that he has a "snooty, unprofessional" lawyer.

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