Am I really in the wrong?

Laura - posted on 12/16/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My sons dad is saying I'm selfish by not letting him have his son over night over 200 miles away, I've offered him to come see him when ever he likes he's welcome to stay at mine and given him names and numbers of hotels near I've also said I would meet him half way so he can see him for the day
He never wanted anything to do with him up til 9 months ago my sons now 2 and has seen him once in last 7 months before that he used to call him that and it and would say he wanted nothing to do with him.
I'm the one who gets hell off him because he don't get his own way suddenly I'm a bad parent
he was meant to come for our sons birthday party but didn't turn up as his "gf" was saying I was harassing her which tbh I don't have time to be that petty
Am I wrong in what I'm doing ?

3 Comments

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Ashley - posted on 12/16/2012

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his father has not been around, so he is pretty much a stranger to your child. i would never send my child to a stranger's house, especially that far away. he needs to get to know him and have a consistent relationship with him before you send him to his house without you, and especially to stay the night. sounds like you have tried to come to an agreement and do things out of your way for him to have a relationship with your son, and he is refusing to try, so that is his problem. you are not in the wrong. keep putting your foot down. either he will get to know him, and be able to eventually have him overnight, or he will just disappear. but that is his choice, and i understand you want your son to have a father, but you cant force him, and you also can not just send your son to a strangers house.

Laura - posted on 12/16/2012

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I have said that its just till our son is used to him it's a start but he hasn't got his own place Eva
I've tried compromising and he says Eva his way or he will wait till our sons old enough

Michelle - posted on 12/16/2012

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yes and no, I would not allow him to have him overnight at this time as your son doesn't really know him however eventually you are going to have to let him take him to his home it is his child too. My suggestion is try to come to some sort of compromise where he sees that eventually after a few months of visiting on your terms and bonding with the child that he will be allowed to have him at his home. It is better for you to work this out on your own as if he takes you to court he will get overnights right away and you will have no say in the matter.

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