am i right as a mother to cut my childrens unreliable father out their lifes after 2 years

Lorna - posted on 12/14/2010 ( 3 moms have responded )

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am i right to cut my kids father of after 2 years of trying to make a regular arrangment with him ? he is always late , brings them back early , if he turns up at all and is abusive to me in front of our 2 sons . but my son aged 4 asks for him , im torn .

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Amber - posted on 12/14/2010

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I think that you should go to court and try to get restricted or monitored visitation. If he is abusive to you in front of your children, they are learning to be abusive. And they might be learning more in his presence.

I speak as a daughter who has chosen to cut my father out of my life. If my mother had made that decision for me at an early age, I would have felt that I was missing out on something. Because I saw first hand how he is, I was able to choose for myself to cut him off.
And I don't feel a sense of longing to find who he is, or question what could have been. I know where I came from and who I am. If my mother had taken him out of my life, I would have unanswered questions.

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I agree w/ going for supervised visits if he is abusive towards you. How is he w/ them? In any case, removing a parent from a child's life should only be used as an absolute last resort. If he is kind to your son and your son wants to see him..... the aggravations we go through to deal w/ these 'men' are worth not having to deprive our children of their father. If he is scum... your son will come to know that in time and make his own decision to put up w/ it or not.

Sorry!! Some men suck!

Laura - posted on 12/14/2010

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I've never had to deal with this personally but I think I would try to opt for supervised visitation before I cut him completely out of their lives.

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