am i stressing over something that i cant help

Raysha - posted on 06/30/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )




im a single mom and i feel that my life is harder and way more stressful with out the dad around. sometimes i feel that i have let my daughter down by not given her a good dad. i do my best but im a always stressing out.... am i crazy??


JuLeah - posted on 06/30/2011




Crazy no. Feeling crazy ... yah.

I think it is a glass half full or half empty kind of thing ... what do you choose to focus your attention on?

I was married, know many that still are, and many times ... parenting is harder with another person around ... life in general depending on the person ... and this is a grass is always greener kind of thing ....

some folks get into the habbit, ya know, of ... my life will be (good, happy) when I ... (lose weight, get a different job, find the right man/woman, finish college, have a baby, get more money ...)

Really ... a person can't be happy when, but only now.

So, what do you choose to focus, on, where do you choose to put your energy and attention?

Sometimes, we feel crazy ... sometimes we drive ourselves crazy ... you will only let your daughter down if you are not the person you were born to be :)


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Katherine - posted on 06/30/2011




Of course life is harder, you're a single parent. Being a single parent is a lot of work.

For whatever reason, you made the right decision in not involving her dad in her life. It sounds like he was not a good person to you and you feel guilty?
Don't, you're better off without him.
Like someone said, join some mommy groups. They are everywhere now. Go to, go to your local library, they are many places to go.
You're not crazy: I have 2, 2 and 5 and I'm, crazy ;) Dad is involved but it's still hard and stressful.
Give yourself a break, you're doing fine.

Ashley - posted on 06/30/2011




you should read free range kids just reading it and hooked but it getts into life's stresses and may help.

Jane - posted on 06/30/2011




No, you are not crazy. You are stressed by having to do everything with no adult companion to help carry the load. Your life IS harder because the dad is not around.

I don't know why the dad is not around but I assume that he doesn't want to be. If so, then how is that your fault? Perhaps it would help you to find a group of other single moms and make friends so you can take turns with them providing respite to each other.

And certainly in an ideal world every child would have two good parents, but you and I both know that isn't always how it works.

Certainly, having just a good, hardworking mom is better than having a hardworking mom and an abusive or addicted dad.

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