Bianca - posted on 10/01/2009 ( 98 moms have responded )
Okay so I have been with my man for just about 3 years. His kids were 8 & 9 when I met him and it's been a tough road with them to this day. He is one of those parents who is guilty about not having them full time so let's them get away with so much and I cannot stand that. They are now 11 & 12 and we still have the same problems. They can not do anything when they are here. They need to be urged to do anything around here....pick up after themselves, or brush their teeth, taking a shower even, putting things back where they belong.
I have a 3 year old and when they are here they take over her TV in her room to play the WII which doesn't bother me but they keep all her stuff disconnected and don't put the WII stuff back where I had it. They don't pick up their covers. They complain about helping to pick up cause "it isn't thier stuff" WTF ?? Am I just a bitch?
My bf thinks I just pick on his kids but the truth is I don't !! I Just get really sick and tired of having to tell them the same things every time they are here! and I don't feel that they should be babied or treated like my 3 year old. They are too old for goodness sake!!
I say they are guests in our home and should treat it as such. but he says this is thier home too.....Okay well either way it goes if It is thier home then why do they complain about picking up things that aren't "thiers"....if it's everyone's home then it's everyones stuff and they should contribute just as much as the rest of our family!! right or wrong?
It has come to the point where I am in a bad mood beofre they even get here just knowing what my weekend has to offer.
It has also come to the point to where my bf wants to leave me because he said if something 'god forbid' ever happened to his baby's mom and his kids had to live with him that I would be OK with it but i told him i wouldn't be ok that i would prob end up leaving if that ever happened. truth is I have told him that from DAY 1 ! I told him if his kids lived with him when I met him that i was not interested. Told him that if I had met him and he had full custody of his kids that I would not be with him still. I just can't handle it. I was a 22 year old new mother of a 5 month old that wasn't planned in my life when I met him and was not ready to take on 2 older kids as my own also. I'm still not prepared to take that on. I am happy with them coming only every other weekend but sometimes he wants them to stay extra days and I get angry...cause I am a stay at home mom and He works....so when they stay another day I AM THE ONE DEALING with everything with them not him and i'm just like why have them stay over another day when he won't see them at all when they can go home to THEIR MOM !!
Please help me! It's getting pretty bad and I just need some advice. We are suppose to be moving on the 17th to a new place but he says if I can't say that I will honestly be OK with them having to live here "hypothetically one day if anything ever happend" then we cannot be together.
I dont' get it. Am I wrong?
Okay so i guess i need to clarify that My 3 year old is not his child. She was 5 months old when I met him. HE loves her as I would expect any man I'm involved in too....and i know i'm being a hipocrit but it's really really easy to love a baby then raise her....his kids were already thier own person when i Met him. He does try to punish for bad grades and stuff but then will give in halfway through the weekend and let them do whatever they are not suppose to be doing. I know I shouldn't be the one doing the disipling but what am i suppose to do if he's not doing it...it's MY HOUSE too and I should get a say. I shouldn't have to tip-toe around his kids when they are here. If i think they should do something I tell them....that's not picking on them !!!! If my 3 year old were their age it'd be the same! My 3 year old has some issues with listening but she is 3 and I try my hardest to fix and correct those issues and try to raise her to respect her elders and othe ppl.
His 11 year old son does horrible in school yet gets rewarded with playing WII or the ps3 or a new game or whatever. He gets in trouble at school all the time and i'm just like how do you reward that? His 12 year old daughter is really good in school and teachers love her but she just ignores me when I ask her to do anything or rolls her eyes or whatever and it doesn't help that her dad (my bf) won't even back me up!!
I don't HATE these kids, i'm just frustrated