Am i the only one who still has feelings for their childs father?

Erin D - posted on 02/21/2016 ( 3 moms have responded )




Hello moms, I'm new to this community as a member but I have been a LONG time lurker. I need someone to talk to about this and I know a lot of you ladies understand. I am feeling really down, I was feeling great until I met with my son's father today so the two of them could spend time together. Okay to start I will give you some insight on what is going on. Me and my son's father who has been the love of my life for the past 4 years. We were engaged for 3 of those years. We just broke up a couple of weeks ago and this really is a serious break up. The reason we are breaking up is because I caught him cheating on Me, and he had actually been staying with the woman for the past 7 months. I just found out this information a couple of weeks ago thus leading to our break up. I asked him why and went through the motions and he told me that he just couldn't do this anymore, saying that he is so broke and I haven't tryed helping him get on his feet. The reason he is saying this is because every since we had our son I really wasn't able to work, due to my family being 3 hours away, i was and still am in school full time and my car was not reliable. Yes I realized I should have helped More but I wish he would have just communicated his needs to me. I have truer over and over to try to understand his side of the story and forgive him but he just is so stubborn. On this past valentines day he texted me "happy Valentine's day I love you" which is confusing because he is still seeing the woman he got caught with. He told me that he didn't love her he just didn't have other options because she was older and able to help him get on his feet. So long story short we are barely texting, he hasn't been home to try to reconcile with me or anything. He just moved to another state which is 3 hours away and he only texts me when it's about business nothing else. He is in town on the weekends and I believe He has seen her since he's been in town twice but not me. He is acting like 4 years meant nothing to him. We just met up so he could see our son and I held in my emotions but a soon as he drive off I broke down. I dressed really nice and wanted him to see that I'm happy with out him but today was very hard I'm not used to this. I really really love him, he knows we're moving into our own apartment next week and he still hasn't expressed his feelings about it. I feel like I mean nothing to him I am the only woman that got him out his moms house into his OWN apartment, I was there for his graduation I pushed him to get his master's, I was there through his divorce, and I was there for him when his ex wife took his kids away. I would never hurt him does he really not care anymore? What do I do, should I tell him that I still care about him, or keep pretending to be happy wistfully thinking he's going to come to his senses? * I'm sorry for long post I'm just so hurt right now


Jodi - posted on 02/21/2016




Well, if he's been staying (read: living) with some other woman for the last 7 months, you don't mean anything to him and evidently haven't for some time. I'm not sure why you want him to start expressing feelings for you now, but he isn't going to come to his senses. He exited this relationship a long time ago. Time for you to let go.

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Raye - posted on 02/22/2016




The only "relationship" you should have with him is a co=parenting relationship. If you haven't done it already, go to court and get legal custody for yourself and visitation for the father, so he knows what his rights are to see the child, and then leave it at that. if he wants to visit the child, then he will know when he's allowed to do that. If he doesn't, then you keep on with your life. Do not let him keep you hanging on the line when he obviously doesn't care about jerking you around. You can do better.

Michelle - posted on 02/22/2016




I agree with Jodi.
Like any relationship breakup, it takes time. He cheated on you for 7 months!!!! That is NOT acceptable at all.
You need to move on and stop pining after him, he doesn't care about you at all.

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