M - posted on 10/21/2009 ( 22 moms have responded )
My newly grad son is 18. He got kicked out the first time, because he made a fuss about house rules and the constant disrespect of me; his mom, and his dad. We spoke later, and came to a compromise. He was to get ready for college, work part-time, and he would communicate more with us & respect us. We were going to help with college, and etc. It lasted less than a week. He went out one Sat with his GF over to a friend's bday party. 12am came around, then 1, then 2....no call from him, no nothing. I tried in vain texting & calling and there was never an answer. Heard sirens near the main rd to my home. There was a tragic accident, where it involved a young couple under the age of 20. I thought, OMG it's my son and his GF! The hosp and news would not release the names , both were dead from a hit on collison by my home! I had a sleepless night to say the last. Next day at 2pm, I got a text from my son saying that if i needed to know where he was, he was at work and to pick him up when he got out. After I brought him home, both my nusband and I tore into him. We told him we did not sleep, how we thought he was in that accident, etc. All this time he had a stupid grin on his face. We asked where he was and how come he did not call. His answer: I am 18, I don't have to call. And if you must know, I was still at that bday party it was an all night party. Words went back and forth and he left saying that we went back on our deal with him and that we had no reason to worry. He said that we need to trust him and treat him like an adult. Since he has been gone, he lost his job for failng to show up to work. He has no car, and refused to ride the local bus. He lives, with whoever will put him up for the night. He gets kicked out often, because people are tired of having him around. He does not work, but is always off with friends. He waits till friday, when his GF comes to town from her out of town college.
He told me the only way he will come back home, is if he will have no rules to live by.
His GF has even sent me 2 emails, condeming me and my husband and our parenting ways. She claims we donot love our son. She herself, has 2 parents who are deadbeats. They donot work, and they allow thier daughter free roam. As soon as she turned 18, she no longer had rules. We are not like that. Are we wrong? I am at a loss as to what else to do. This girl has sent me another disrespectful and hurt email.