am i wrong for not wanting to be around his family?

Cheyenne - posted on 06/07/2011 ( 1 mom has responded )




ok a little history before i start:

, me and my boyfriend have been together almost 4 years:the 24th will be 4 years. i moved in with him, his parents, and his grandfather in oct 2008 when i got pregnant the first time and my dad kicked me out but it ended in a miscarriage. i had another miscarriage in march 2009, then got pregnant with my son april 2009. im now pregnant with # 2.

ok, now that you know i've been with him for awhile obviously we have been around both sides of the family. my family is VERY VERY disfunctinal. my mom tried killing herself 5 years ago 3 different times. and i was abused by my brother between the ages 16-18. my sister is a pathological lair and follows whoever is getting the attention and she also has a eating disorder right now( bulimia) and my dad is just a d**k and used to be a big alcoholic but sometimes ok. my boyfriends family is loud, not afraid to say whats on there mind, drinks alot at get-togethers, and yeah. recently the last year or so i havent really ben going to anything because i dont like parties period. ive never been the one who went to a bunch of parties or drank till i threw up, or whatever, its just not my thing. every time my mother in law gets together with her brother she gets smashed. it reminds me alot of my dad and thats one reason i choose not to drink or do drugs. and im not saying that i havent drank before because i have only a few times though. it was a hard time and i drank with my boyfriend. when i first met my boyfriend i told him that if you wanna be with me that he couldnt drink, do drugs, or smoke ANYTHING. he quit for me the next day. so ive always been like that. my boyfriend doesnt really understrand why i dont like going to see his family, and its not that i dont like them but they are completely different than i was raised with and i dont like how they drink with a bunch of kids around them . to me its irresponsible. but he knows about my family and everything so i think he should understand, right? am i wrong for not wanting to be around that? i mean i do go over there for christmas but thats about it. and we actually have been invited to his cusions garduation party thats supposed to last all night long. i dont really talk to anybody in that family for the simple fact that i have nothing in common with them and i dont want to be around that, except for his sister every once in awhile. so am i wrong for it? i mean i dont want my son and this new baby going through the same thing i went through, thats why i made the desicons i did. i do go to alot of my family things but nobody drinks because usually my great grandfather is there and everyone respects him enough not to drink or curse around him. and usually our family things dont get out of hand. should i go to this party coming up or should i let my boyfriend take my son for a few hours because my boyfriend works that night so he wont be staying all night


[deleted account]

I can understand where you do not feel connected w/these ppl, they are different then your admittedly dysfunctional family, they drink to much-you have issues w/, etc etc etc. My dad's family sounds alot like your b/f's, loud, always drinking @ events-ppl crashing or leaving drunk, etc. My mom didn't like going because they would all get drunk blah blah blah. We eventually stopped going and I lost a HUGE connection w/my family! Frankly, it pisses me off that my mom did that! I mean, can't there be a happy medium? Couldn't you all come over for a few hours and leave before ppl start getting beligerant? I have quite fond memories of the few family events we attended and all my cousins on that side are close like siblings and they are the only family I have around where I live and I feel like I was cheated the opportunity! My siblings all live 5 hrs north of me and I try getting closer w/my cousins but they've been chillin' for the last 15+ yrs, its hard to get there w/that much time lapsing :( So I say, GO! Unbunch your panties and have a good time! :) Maybe you will find you have more in common w/these folks then you think! And eventually some grow up and quit their drinking, etc.

Sorry, I don't mean to be rude...just bringing up crap from my mom...ugh!

1 Comment

View replies by

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms