Am I wrong, going crazy for my way of thinking, or both?

Sadie - posted on 05/12/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )




So yesterday, my 11 year old niece got mad at her Mom (my sister) for making her clean up a mess she made and called her a really bad name. I have a 15 year old that would not even consider calling me the name she used or any other name because she has enough respect for me not to do that. My niece, has very, very little respect for her mother. And I gotta say, it really ticks me off to see or hear how my niece talks to my sister. But what really makes me mad, is how my sister doesn't stick with the punishment. Not only was my niece able to go outside about 8 hours after being punished because my sister had to make an important phone call and my niece kept interrupting her, but then the next day, she's off punishment. I found out because I had just bought a trampoline the day before and I had told my niece that she couldn't jump on it because of what she did. So tonight, I get a text message from my sister asking me if its okay for her to jump on it, and I reply no. I said she is supposed to be grounded isn't she? My sister says she was yesterday, but she's off punishment today. I was so angry at my sister for doing this I could feel my face turn beet red from being so mad. I'm thinking, "your daughter just totally disrespected you and called you a horrible name, and you are only punishing her for one day?" Call me crazy, but I think that is ludicrous! I'm thinking no wonder your daughter doesn't respect you, you don't give her any reason to! What teenager is going to worry about any consequences for their serious actions, if all they have to worry about is a slap on the wrist? If my 15yr old daughter would have done this, she would not only been grounded for a lot longer then that, but she would have gotten her mouth slapped first just for saying it. And to beat it all, my own daughter even told her that, and my niece's response to it was "oh well." So tell me, am I wrong for thinking her punishment was too short? And am I wrong for not letting her jump on the trampoline because of how she treated my sister?


Jennifer - posted on 05/12/2014




You are NOT wrong and your sister may be in touble later down the road. My sister works ALOT (plus she is a single mom, as am I) and before I became a full time live in nanny to my three nephews(8,6,and 2) the two older ones treated her very bad just like this. She would spank them or put them in time out but five minutes later they would be right back at it and she would let them. Even in stores her middle son would scream at her and throw fits and instead of punishing him she would just leave the store and wait to do shopping until she had a babysitter. I sat my sister down and told her she doesn't know how to discipline them at all and now she openly admits this. She feels horrible about it and after a long hard talk with me she asked if I would intervene. I do all the punishments and make sure she sticks with them.
I believe kids need discipline and structure to be successful in life.
Your sister may not know how to discipline her daughter and may need help and not want to admit it. I would sit her down and talk to her about it.
Now that I've lived with my nephews for about a year now they wouldn't dare to say any hurtful or disrespectful thing to there mother. Plus my sister has learned to stick to her guns when it comes down to punishments.
You know even parenting classes may even help at this point since her daughter is a little older. I understand how hard it must be for you to watch your niece treat your sister that way and I wish you the best of luck with this.

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