Am i wrong to feel this way?

Lori - posted on 02/14/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )

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i have 1 child and 35 weeks pregnant with my boyfriend. i really like my mother in law (never used to) but i feel my boyfriend cannot say no to her. she helps us so much and i apperciate it so much but i just feel second best. its valentines day and we r waiting for a call to see if he needs to look after his little sister or not. its my day too. am i wrong? i know she has to work but what about me? i mean i find it really hard to get him to do things sometimes, but he left me and my son when we all had food poisoning to look after his sister. he says hes just trying to keep us both happy but i dont feel happy at all.

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Elfrieda - posted on 02/14/2011

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It sounds like you are both really young. He's got to leave the nest. Family loyalty is great, it means you got a good guy, and it sounds like his family is pretty good, too. He just needs to realize who his immediate family is now - it's you and your kids. I don't know your situation, but maybe you should get married. It's a lot weightier to say, "my wife" than it is to say "my girlfriend". He has lots of roles to play. We all do. It sounds like the role of Brother and Son are trumping Father and Boyfriend. That's just my take on the situation, in case having an outside perspective helps. Wishing you the best on your new baby! :)

Tina - posted on 02/15/2011

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I guess your mother law needs to realise to he has his own family now and that should be his priority it doesn't mean he cares for her anyless

Louise - posted on 02/15/2011

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I think he needs to leave the apron strings alone and put his family first. I would be really narked if my husband left me whilst I was ill to go and take care of his sister. He sounds like he is torn between his mother and you and I have to say this is quite normal in a young man. Once this baby is born he really has to put this family first and stop being at beck and call from his mother. His mother has got to realise what she is doing and if she does not then point out to her that her son has responsibilities now and it's time for him to grow up. This is not going to sort it's self out over night it is something he is going to have to work on and I am afraid you are going to have to bare until he comes to his sences.

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Lori - posted on 02/15/2011

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wow thank you i was not sure weather i was just being a whinge you have both helped me a lot and its really got me thinking. yes we are young im 20 and he is 26. hopfully he will put us first once baby is born in a few weeks. and just like most mother in laws its hard to stand up to them even if it is your family that may be suffering.

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