An emotional wreck

Kyrakamy - posted on 06/06/2013 ( 17 moms have responded )

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Hello I have non-identical twin girls that are 7 months old. I had depression before I had my girls and being pregnant and having my girls has made it so much worse. I don't eat properly, I think of myself as disgusting, nothing is positive, I feel like giving up completely :'( I know the ins and outs of depression but I've never had it this bad , and every time I take tablets I feel no different. What can i do ??? My main issue at the moment is my body. I just wish there was something I could do to make myself get into shape without spending too much time as I just don't have the time looking after my twins :(

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Christine - posted on 06/10/2013

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Depression is very serious so you should talk to a professional but honestly you have 2 babies to worry about. How your body looks is the last thing you should worry about. I have 16 yr old twins and when they were 6 mths old I got pregnant again. I had postpartum depression after each pregnancy. Eat healthy and go for long walks with your double stroller. You'll be fine. I now have 5 daughters. It takes at least 12-18 months to get back to size if your eating healthy. I'm 37yrs old and a size 6 after 5 children with no gym membership. I walk everyday for an hour and i dont eat late. Especially now with a 1yr old it's hard to stay seated. Always put your kids 1st. Once you see they're happy and healthy you would be too.

User - posted on 06/08/2013

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You said you feel no different take tablets. I am not sure what 'tablets' you are talking about but if you are taking medication for depression, it takes a while for them to start working. I suffer from severe depression and take two different medications for it. I was kept out of work for five weeks to give the medications time to start working. Now, if I miss a dose, I can tell because I notice a change in my mood. My husband is disabled, he became disabled at the age of 46. He is also on medication for depression and I can tell when he has not taken it. If you are given medication, please, keep taking it and give it time to work. You also may need the dose changed.

Jackie - posted on 06/07/2013

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There are many things you can look into. Since you recently gave birth, it could be postpartum depression. You need to see a doctor as soon as possible. There is a link at the end of this article that takes you to Parents Anonymous of New Jersey's live online support meetings. [ www.pa-of-nj.org ]

There may be many reasons for your depression: seasonal affective disorder, PPD, hormones, diet, etc. You mentioned several things that make you feel bad. Takin one step to getting better might make you feel good enough tomorrow to do more, but beginning is the key. Try not to focus on body image; instead look to become a healthy food consumer and watch portion control. Sometimes it's not what we eat but how much.

Try the online support group; I hear there are two groups that meet twice weekly in a live chat room. Having support as close as your laptop can sure help.

Good luck!

http://jackiesaulmonramirez.com/2013/03/...

17 Comments

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Ali - posted on 09/15/2013

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work out. it doesn't need to be that much time. 45 mins, every third day. that's it!

Makhetsi - posted on 06/12/2013

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what i can tell u is,start loving urself dress clothes that will compliment ur body,loose clothes couse tyt ones will make u look worse,as for de weight buy urself belt dat we use after pregnacy its not confortable but it will help couse it will limit wat u eat

Loretta - posted on 06/11/2013

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I know it feels like it right now, but you will not feel this way forever. Your body is still all crazy from hormones for anywhere from 9-36 months after giving birth. Do not give up during this hard time. It gets better. Your body may feel like it is your main issue, but it is not really what is causing you to feel down. It is probably just where your negative feelings are being directed. Of course you are too busy looking after your twins to have a celebrity body right now. And that is how it should be. That is part of the sacrifice we make for our children as mothers. Out of love for these children, we often have to forgo our own glamor and beauty during times that are very demanding. I had a surprise late life child when my first two were teenagers and I was working nights and getting 2-3 hrs sleep for almost the whole first year and my new daughter was extremely colicky and demanding. I could not even figure out how to brush my teeth regularly. I was absoblutely over-extended and worn out. She is 4 now and little by little, I have been able to take better and better care of myself. It's been a tough season, but it is just a season. Some day, you will look back and wonder, "How did I get through that??" but you will be through it. Even though depression makes us want to isolate ourselves, please reach out to others for support whenever and wherever you can. Even posting this was a good thing. You are amazingly strong to have come this far with twins! They are obviously lucky to have a mom who makes taking care of them such a priority. Things will get better. ♥

Connie - posted on 06/10/2013

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talk to your minister at church, talk to GOD, He does love U and cares so take your problem to Him, He is there all the time , He will never foresake you, yes, rely on your father in Heaven and He will answer you and show you the way.

Melynda - posted on 06/09/2013

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I want to give u a hug too!! Being a mommy is the toughest job i have ever had. I was in the same dark place. I started out small by taking the kids for walks Every morning or evening. I had to force myself to get up and do it. It was hard but slowly i could feel the negitive fall awAy. Make sure u start off with good food choices. It will get easier. Uve always got us!

Carlie - posted on 06/09/2013

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Let me start by giving you a virtual *HUG*. It is not easy being a mom, it is definitely not easy having twins and then add emotional distress... it can feel like a downward spiral, but things will get better. You need to give yourself a break. Your body will take care of itself. It took 10 months for your body to grow a baby (two babies in your case) and it will take time for it to get to where you want it to be. As you have already identified... you will need to change your eating habits and try to choose healthy options. Tracking my food intake really helps me. Another thing that helps me is not buying unhealthy things, because if it is not in the house, I can't eat it. As for exercise, I am sure you are running around with your girls all day long, so put that on the back burner for now.
Lastly, you are beautiful already. You made, carried, and delivered two baby girls. A miracle. They love you, they need you, and their love is unconditional. At the end of the day, nothing else matters. Remember to love yourself too.

Heather - posted on 06/09/2013

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Bless your heart, I had post partem depression after having my second child. It's not an easy thing to get through and even though it's been 11 years sometimes I still feel off balance. Personally, I think you need some time for yourself, even if it's only one day a week. I know how difficult this can be to accomplish but I really feel that a little you time would be a great help. It helped me along with the meds of course. I will pray for you and your family and I hope that things get better for you soon.

Lori - posted on 06/09/2013

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I completely feel ur pain on body image. I am 5mo pregnant now n I feel like I look enormous. It didn't help that I was overweight to begin with but my plan is to take my baby for walks after he is born n eat healthy. Do u have a double stroller? R u able to take them out for walks often? Make small changes first that u can live with like drink water instead of pop or whole wheat products instead of white. For me, it takes up too much time n money to commit to a gym everyday. I'd rather spend time with my kid n walk. Accomplishing those few little things at a time may help u to see yourself in a more positive way which will lead to bigger changes in u.

Dana - posted on 06/08/2013

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Are you stuck inside with them all day? I joined a gym when my twins were this age after seeing a picture of myself and because felt so disgusting.the gym gave up to 2 free hrs daycare a day. It was motivation enough and I lost 75 pounds. I never worked out a day in my life before this! Now im depressed when I dont work out. But also depressed more in general since giving birth 4 yrs ago and dont know why. Trying new meds now.

Brenda - posted on 06/08/2013

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go on sparkpeople.com they have 10 minute work out videos for all levels of fitness, they also so have community blogs for all kinds of things, depression, ect. they have work outs you can do sitting or standing whatever works for you. this is free and pretty easy, I am having some of the same issues as you - the twins. This is such an hard issue because we are all so different. I just had to do it, it is not easy but I am trying to fix me....cause right now I feel like I suck, but since I started this it is getting better, Ive been at it for 6 mos I started at 240 and it is slowly coming off I am now at 218, I have a ways to go but it is coming along. keep your head up, moms are very special people and no one can replace us in our childrens lives.
Hope this helps a bit hang in their.

Kyrakamy - posted on 06/07/2013

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i dont intend on doing anything like your dad did kathy, which is why i want to sort things now before it does get to that point , i just want to be happy for my childrens sake and give them the life they deserve with also making myself confident and happy :/ x

Deanna - posted on 06/07/2013

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The YMCA can help with the money part, and some even offer no-cost child care when you are at the facility.

There are also DVDs you can get at little to no charge (go library!). If you get something like yoga, the girls can be there with you. They may even try it themselves.

Hang in there sweetie!! Have you talked to your partner about this? A spouse can be a huge part of the healing. My boyfriend when I had my daughter was amazing with the help.

Remember, you are beautiful!!

Cathy - posted on 06/06/2013

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ok so I am no expert but I have a few ideas. first of all my dad commited suicide when i was 21 months old so please don't do that to your babies. I really had resentment and abandonment issues growing up. also it is very embarrassing when kids go to sleep overs and say what does your dad do for a living and i had to say what he did. anyway I also have suffered from depression and body issues. so after I had my girl I did the treadmill in my house every day and I kept on it. I had my husband babysit for 30 minutes and I did that. If you are consisitent and watch what you eat it will help. you may never look like you did but you will feel better. excersize is wonderful for depression. it can balance your dopamine and seritonin levels that get messed up with pregnancy. I recently started doing the jillian michaels' from biggest losers work out dvd and i love it! it is called 30 days to shredded and it takes 20 minutes for each day and it has you use little 3 pound weights. It is really something to try. keep your chin up if you can. make sure you are getting vitamin d3 because with little ones we don't always get the sunlight we need and it can cause SADD which is a sunlight deficiency, also if you are really super sad you need to talk to your dr. they need to know this and my friend told me recenlty that she got 4 free sessions with a therapist since she was dx with post pardom depression. You never know what kind of help is out there until you ask.
cathy

Sarah - posted on 06/06/2013

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I would talk with your doc. Your meds. might need to be adjusted. Your hormones have changed and your meds that you have now may not be the right fit for you since those changes.

For the body thing I know where you are at. One thing to realize is that your body is not going to be how it was before you got pregnant. You can still look good just things will have changes (hips are different, boobs might be different, and even how clothes fit on you might be different). That does not mean you still can't look good. That also does not mean you can't look good at the weight you are at. Buy clothes that fit you now and look good on your body where you are at (I know it can be frustrating to find things now).....don't look at size look at fit. When you find clothes that fit nice you feel good. Give yourself time to get that baby weight down. My weight has been up and down throughout the years, but before I had my third I was doing some walking marathons and was enjoying the exercise. After my third was born I tried to keep up with my walking, but it was not the same.....hard to get in and I could not go like I did before. Realize that as your kids grow it will get easier. I have two older kids and I know that as my third gets older I will get that "me" time back. My third is now 2 yrs old and I am just starting to get a little bit of that time....it is in the early morning and just an hour or less, but I am slowly getting it back.

If you have a double stroller or even better a double jogging stroller go for a brisk walk or a run. Great way to get that exercise in and a way you can do it with kids.

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