An End to Our Pain

Melodie - posted on 04/22/2015 ( 5 moms have responded )




I am joining Circle of Moms because I need help. I'm a mom, I'm a professional, I'm a wife, I'm lots of things but mostly right now I'm the mother of a child who was sexually abused by her uncle when she was 14. Tomorrow we will go to court and I will stand up and speak on behalf of my daughter and our family before they decide on a sentence for my brother. I thought I would feel better once he pled guilty but it was at that time that I found out that on top of sodomizing my baby, he video taped it. Tomorrow I send my brother to jail. Does he deserve it? YES! Do I regret calling the police? Not even for a second. But I don't feel better.

My daughter lost everything, her childhood, her school, her health, everything. We all lost half of my family that took the other side, I lost faith in people and have very few friends now. Mostly we lost security, none of us will ever feel safe again. So why don't I feel better knowing that he goes to jail tomorrow???

I guess I just need a group of people to support me on this so I'm coming to this place for help. Moms are the only ones who can understand what I'm going through. Can anyone tell me when the pain will let go of my heart?


Dove - posted on 04/22/2015




Of course you won't feel better just because he's in jail. He's your brother... someone you SHOULD have been able to trust w/ your child. She wasn't the only one violated here... you were too. It will likely take a lot of time and some serious family counseling for you and your daughter to start to heal from this. You CAN heal, but it will take time and will never fully go away. I am so sorry for what your family has endured.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 04/22/2015




Only time will tell on this one, my dear!

Hang in there, do what you need to do legally, and consider having a talk or two with a therapist. Your feelings are totally normal.

Good luck with all! My prayers are with you and your baby...


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Laura - posted on 04/24/2015




I can not imagine the pain you are going through. Your brother going to jail won't take what he did away, that is why you don't feel better. It won't un-violate your precious daughter. I was sexually abused as a child (starting when I was 3 or 4) so my heart aches for your daughter. I don't remember a lot since I was so young so I am sorry she will remember it. My prayers and best healing wishes are with you and your family.

Melodie - posted on 04/24/2015




So, yesterday was pretty tough. First we get there and my father was there WITH MY BROTHER. The crown read through all of the evidence out loud so I learned a lot of things I didn't know. It was hard enough for us to hear all of it but having my own family on the opposite side crushed me.

Then we had to hear the defense try and make excuses but all she managed to do was waste enough time so that we wouldn't get a verdict the same day. Seriously, most of what she said was completely irrelevant to the case.

It's like being hit twice, once by my brother and again by my father.

I did an intensive 5 month counselling program 4 hours a day, my daughter is in counselling and nothing prepared us for yesterday.

I'm grateful to have friends, my husband, and now this group. Thank you to those who reached out, I needed some kind words.

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