Chrissmorris - posted on 01/22/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )
I love my wife very much. However I have lost her as a wide the day she conceived. She is a wonderful person and who has been a certified child care giver in the past.
We are first time parents and we have been going through a learning curve with regards to giving care to our baby. But of late she has been displaying a lot of anger towards me and the baby. Baby in particular when he cries at night or day time.
For me a crying baby is just normal. We must look for any valid reasons for their crying and address them. But if they whine or just cry for attention then we do what we can to show we are close by, pet them and let them cry it out until they self soothe and adjust. And she knows it well too given her experience.
But some nights she screams at the baby when he wakes up and cries. To which he cries more. When I interject and try to pick him up and soothe him, she yells at me and stops me from doing anything saying that I am setting grounds to a bad habit. I at times shout back at her and just take the baby away. He immediately settles and falls asleep in a few minutes.
Another issue I have with her is she constantly complaints about how troublesome he is and seems to be constantly aggravated. He is just a baby and does seek attention and does cry for attention or wants to be picked up and cuddled at times. But the way she complains seems like he is a terror. For example she doesn’t cut his finger nails close enough. And when he tries to garb her or hold her he invariably scratched her neck or chest. For that she screams at him saying “stop scratching me”.
She is a stay at home mom and she has her issues regarding separating from the baby too. So the baby sleeps with her and recently began to put him in his crib. She doesn’t cook or indulge in daily cleaning or does the dishes or even washes the feeding bottles. That’s my job mostly – the cooking and washing bottles daily. When she is sleep deprived I try to keep the baby with me as long as I can in a different room to give her rest. But all this is not sufficient.
Reading on the internet I see a clear bias when a mother shouts at a baby , there is lent of advice on how normal it is, and when a father does the same he is quick to be blamed. I am lost and very worried on how to stop my baby being yelled at. I really do not know what happens when I am at work. I do not see any physical or mental signs of abuse but I remain very worried for his safety and well being knowing her anger and behavior.
I do not know who to turn to either. He family has certain old fashioned ways of raising children which is very questionable. If my family intervenes it wont sit well certainly. I am helpless. I do not know if the authorities can help either. I would gladly leave her for the sake f my babies safety but I do not want that to happen either. What can I do?