Another women around my 9 month old child.

Marie - posted on 07/23/2014 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I really need advice on what i should do. I'm 25 years old... My child father and I broke up recently. I must admit I did not treat him well and I believe the root of the way I treated him was because of him being un trustworthy in the past. I have a hard time forgiving people, something i must work on because no one is perfect...So.. We had a premature baby and I took that really hard. I blamed myself, did not feel womanly, i just felt like it was all my fault. a month ago I checked his call log and saw he was talking to another women. when he found out that I knew about her, he called my phone and told me the relationship was over. I reacted my busting his tires. Later that night he was at my mother's house visiting my daughter I told him to get out. We got into an altercation and he called the police I was arrested.
Presently...
I now drop my daughter off at his mother's house when i go to school on mon and wed. Last week when i dropped her off I noticed that his new girlfriend was there. I know that I can not control what goes on in someone else's house but its too early for him to play house with my child around. She's a baby. I don't know what to do. he only sees her on those days as of right now. I do not want him to see her on other days because he will keep her without letting me know what's going on with her. Yes i'm trying to control the situation but it's beyond me and will get worse..

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/08/2014

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Marie, that's much better.

Get everything established in court, with documenting paperwork. That gives you legal standing to fight when he doesn't pay support, etc.

Good luck with everything!

Marie - posted on 08/08/2014

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Thanks for the advice. Update: I filed for child support in June without his knowledge, he recently filed for joint custody. then i counter filed for sole. He thought that filing custody would get me to drop the child support. He keeps bringing up child support so I can drop it. (he thinks I'm going to use it for my bills, when in reality my child needs it), I am going to go thru with the child support because he hasn't shown to provide for me child since we broke up. He feels that he should only provide for her when she is in his care... He told me that I could drop her off naked, he was being smart. So yesterday I was going to drop he off. I said I only have the milk because you have everything else. He cussed me out. I then reminded him of what he said. After that I called his mother and explained what happened. Later that night he calls and says he has things for her. Diapers, clothes etc. At this point i do not what the things that he has, Should i accept them? I am still following through with child support. The court date is in 3 weeks. I have controlled my anger. I've learned that people with do lame things, just have to let them do what they do! according to the law and common sense children need that income of two parents he doesn't understand that.

Marie - posted on 08/08/2014

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Thanks for the advice. Update: I filed for child support in June without his knowledge, he recently filed for joint custody. then i counter filed for sole. He thought that filing custody would get me to drop the child support. He keeps bringing up child support so I can drop it. (he thinks I'm going to use it for my bills, when in reality my child needs it), I am going to go thru with the child support because he hasn't shown to provide for me child since we broke up. He feels that he should only provide for her when she is in his care... He told me that I could drop her off naked, he was being smart. So yesterday I was going to drop he off. I said I only have the milk because you have everything else. He cussed me out. I then reminded him of what he said. After that I called his mother and explained what happened. Later that night he calls and says he has things for her. Diapers, clothes etc. At this point i do not what the things that he has, Should i accept them? I am still following through with child support. The court date is in 3 weeks. I have controlled my anger. I've learned that people with do lame things, just have to let them do what they do! according to the law and common sense children need that income of two parents he doesn't understand that. Oh I am attending counseling and doing things to improve myself. I am a College student

Marie - posted on 08/08/2014

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Thanks for the advice. Update: I filed for child support in June without his knowledge, he recently filed for joint custody. then i counter filed for sole. He thought that filing custody would get me to drop the child support. He keeps bringing up child support so I can drop it. (he thinks I'm going to use it for my bills, when in reality my child needs it), I am going to go thru with the child support because he hasn't shown to provide for me child since we broke up. He feels that he should only provide for her when she is in his care... He told me that I could drop her off naked, he was being smart. So yesterday I was going to drop he off. I said I only have the milk because you have everything else. He cussed me out. I then reminded him of what he said. After that I called his mother and explained what happened. Later that night he calls and says he has things for her. Diapers, clothes etc. At this point i do not what the things that he has, Should i accept them? I am still following through with child support. The court date is in 3 weeks. I have controlled my anger. I've learned that people with do lame things, just have to let them do what they do! according to the law and common sense children need that income of two parents he doesn't understand that.

Dove - posted on 07/23/2014

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Get into counseling for your anger issues... and get a lawyer. At this point, if 'I' were the father I wouldn't trust 'you' around the baby since you've proven to fly off the handle when you are upset...

Should he be 'playing house'? No... Is there anything you can DO about it? Other than accept it and get yourself in check... also no.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 07/23/2014

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You cannot control who the child's father interacts with .

Do you have court orders for support, custody, and visitation? If not, GET THEM. Because, at this point, you are attempting to control access. If you continue, he can fight for his own full custody, or whatever.

Get orders in place and follow them. Also, learn how to control your anger. You cannot effectively raise a child if you cannot effectively communicate with other adults (case in point, you got pissed off at your ex, so you ruined his tires...which is a crime...)

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