Anxiety/Depression/Loneliness

Jillian Elaine - posted on 10/26/2016 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Hello I am a stay at home mom of two toddlers who are 10 months apart. They are both currently 1 year old. I am full time at home and finally it has really gotten to me mentally. I live far away from friends and family and have lived in this area for a little over a year. Trying to get out of the house to do anything with the kids by myself is a nightmare and I have no adult contact except with the father of my children. I go to therapy and see a psychiatrist for my anxiety and depression but anxiety is hitting me hard lately. I can't take being alone much longer and getting a part time job is not an option (I wish). Someone please help. I am desperate. Thanks so much.

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Dove - posted on 10/27/2016

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Tell him you need a break. Once a week you want to go out by yourself for a bit... maybe go to a coffee shop or bookstore or something and just unwind for an hour. Maybe you'll meet some people... maybe you'll just re-energize yourself alone (I know... loneliness, but some time to yourself NOT worrying about kids might just help anyway).

Do the two of you have date nights? If not... try to get that set up once or twice a month (weekly is better, but start w/ whatever you can). Look for a sitter if you don't have one. Utilize one if you do. If you flat out can't get a sitter... put the kids to bed and have a candlelit picnic on the living room floor.

You do need to get out and find other local moms to connect to, but maybe these two opinions will help in the meantime. ♥

Jillian Elaine - posted on 10/27/2016

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Thank you for your support and kind words. The Father of my children comes home early from work regularly to be with us as he is the boss so he can do that but not all the time. He doesn't understand how lonely I am because he isn't lonely and has ever felt this way. But I won't give up! I will keep pushing forward. Thanks again.

Anne - posted on 10/27/2016

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My heart goes out to you momma, and I can sense how overwhelmed you are. Feeling like there are no options in sight would make me feel trapped to, But I want to believe there is some help out there for you, I think it's just a matter of finding it.

You did not mention if the father is at home. If he is, then your first step will be to involve him in the process of getting you through this difficult phase of motherhood. Men can say they understand, to be nice or courteous, but to show they really care means stepping in and taking the lead on finding some solutions to your dilemma. I realize he can't help during the day, but has he offered a plan to connect you to those who can support you? You are his responsibility, and while he takes his job seriously and gives his 100% there, he can do the same for you.

I think you did the right thing by reaching out for help here, but I would like to encourage you to reach out to other moms in your local community who meet regularly for the same reasons you do - they need to feel connected, supported, and understood. The worst thing you can do is keep yourself isolated. Start calling around, especially to churches, and ask if they have a moms group that meets often. Once you are surrounded by other moms who are dealing with the same obstacles you face, you will find comfort in knowing you are not alone in this enormous task of mothering.

One group in particular I can highly recommend is MOPS. I was involved in a group last year and it gave moms a sense of belonging and security. Mothers brought their children of all ages, and most of these groups provide childcare too.

http://bit.ly/2e060ao

Please pray about this too. God loves you and cares about every detail of your life, big and small. He is able to guide you and lead you to the right sources of help. He did it for me and countless other moms I know. Sending a special hug for you today momma, and I promise to be praying for you.

Dove - posted on 10/26/2016

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It's hard when they are so little. I had twins and pretty much never left the house alone til they were 18 months and down to only one nap a day. Then I started going to every morning play group I could find. Many churches have mom's groups (or might know of a nearby local mom's group not affiliated w/ a church) once a week or once every 2 weeks because there are a lot of people dealing w/ very similar issues as you are facing.

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