Anxiety over having a second child please help!

Leah - posted on 07/19/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )




My husband and I have recently been talking about having another child. He has an older brother and believes that having a sibling is best. Me on the other hand am an only and believe that not to necessarily be true. I know that I have always wanted children and always thought that I wanted more than one. Since having my first I have only wanted him and did not want to consider having a second. Now that our son is turning 3 my husband has really been pushing for another child. I have been saying NO but I don't feel that it's fair for me to make that decision since he is an amazing father. Everytime I think about having a second child I get a knot in my stomach and feel like I can't breathe. I worry about finances (which is not necessarily a worry now) when it comes to daycare, vacations, clothes, food.....etc. I also have a very demanding job and worry that I am going to lack the preformace that I am used to producing and ultimately feel like something will give. Not working is not an option and a failing family isn't either. PLEASE HELP ME!! Any parents in the same boat or have felt the same way that now have two children. I am really needing some guidance.


Elizabeth - posted on 07/19/2012




You know a very smart person once said...if you wait until the conditions are JUST right to have children will never have them.

I think that maybe you are worrying too much about the if's, coulds, and mights. Perhaps you should instead worry less about those things and get down to the root of you or don't you wnat another baby.

I know that when our oldest daughter was about 16 months old we watched her playing by herself and my husband and I felt so sad for her that she was all alone. Not only would she be alone as a child but when you grow old and your parents are gone...who do you have? Your siblings, right? That was our thinking...we now have 3 little girls and we adore each of them. They each have different qualities that we love and I certainly cannot say that I love one more than another.

God provides for us. When you know this and are certain of this fact and put your trust in him...he will surely provide for all your needs.


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Alison - posted on 07/19/2012




after my first son felt the same as you that I was happy just with him but i was a single parent so was enough as working full time in demanding job. However got marrief when he was 7 and husband wanted family so had another boy and a few years later at neary 40 i really wanted another baby so had my daughter. One thing is for sure that if you do decide to have another you will not regret it and do not worry about loving another one as much as a mothers love is unlimited. I do think having one child is a whole lot easier than two plus as you do not have to deal with arguing between siblings which can be exhausting but also you will never have pleasure of seeing your children playing together and loving each other-sometimes anyway ! If iit is really important to your husband i would go for it-you know he is a great dad and you do not want him to resent you in the future. Also having a sibling can be a great comfort in later life .My sister and i fought when kids but good friends now as adults.. My advice would be to go for it -good luck x

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