Any adoptive parents?

Theresa - posted on 01/27/2009 ( 16 moms have responded )

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I'm mom to 3 boys and would love to have a girl... but that won't happen the normal way since dh had a vasectomy and I want a 110% chance of a girl anyways! lol Just wondering if anyone has adopted and how it went? How do you start the process and how expensive is it? Thanks!

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Donna - posted on 05/26/2011

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i adopted a daughter years ago...the 3 best option are:
1. go to your county social service agency they do adoptions, casework , foster parent etc. they are the least expensive route.
2. go to an agency they will do the case studies etc and it costs more because most are private with some public funding.
3. goto a lawyer that advertises...the most expensive option by far... you wind up having to pay for all kinds of stuff.
4. DON'T use the internet...too many baby mamas ripping off desperate would be parents.

Kelly - posted on 01/27/2009

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Theresa-one of ours is adopted, other three are ours bioligically. We adopted through foster care, at no cost to us. In our state you can go to a state website and find children available for adoption right now. Maybe where you live is the same. It was a lot of paperwork but so worth it! Our's moved in with us at 17 months, and adoption was final at almost 3 years, so it's not real fast. Good luck!

Theresa - posted on 01/27/2009

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What a sweet story Mary! I wish it would be that easy! Thanks everyone! I love all the stories! I'd love to do foster care but I don't think DH would be up for it and we'd need a bigger house for it to even be an option...

Mary - posted on 01/27/2009

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Hi, I am Mary Trask. My brother and sil had 2 boys and my two older bros had 3 boys each. When he asked his wife what did she take a chance on a girl or adopt, She went for the adoption. They spoke to a social worker . It happened at the same time my sister in law's niece had just had a baby girl and was going to put the little one up for adoption and they arranged for a private adoption. So talk to a social worker first. There may be someone they know who is having a baby and thinking about adoption. I am sorry I do not know what the expenses were, but I know the girl they adopted is a Registered Nurse, working in Califonia, loving life, debt free, loves her parents and they adore her. How many people have commented on how much she looks like her dad. LOL

She is getting married this year. She is a blond, blue eyed beauty, loves kids and her family. Her life has been a gift to my brother and sister in law and they have been the best parents to her. She has always known she was adopted and knows her other siblings. This is a small town. But her adopted family is hers and she does not even consider her birth mom a part of her life. It has turned out well. My bro is a big sucker where she is concerned and the love there is unconditional on both sides.Hope you get better answers than this, but start talking to a social worker first. They should be able to point you in the right direction. Good luck.

Jennifer - posted on 01/27/2009

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My husband and I have adopted children, but first did foster care.  I know that foster care isn't for everyone but it made our life what it is today with 7 beautiful children.  We adopted a few older children but we also brought home our youngest children straight from the hospital.  You can be as specific or as general about the children you are willing to take into your home.  There are so many foster children close by that need homes, even baby girls!  Good luck on your journey!

Tracey - posted on 01/27/2009

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If I could get all my thoughts in order, I could put it all in one post!!

The Complete Adoption Book by Laura Beauvais-Godwin and Raymond Goodwin, Esq.
has everything you need to know! It has information on choosing an agency, independent adoptions, international adoptions, transracial adoptions, state-by-state requirements, etc.

Shawna - posted on 01/27/2009

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Good Morning Theresa



 



I am not sure where you live but it will certainly be different from province to province/state to state.  I am in Alberta and we adopted our son through Alberta Children's Services.  There was no actual fee but there were minimal disbursements we needed to pay.  We applied in Sept 2002 and met our son for the first time in Mar 2006.  The adoption became final in August 2008.



Hope this information helps and if you need, please ask more.

Tracey - posted on 01/27/2009

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Paper work only takes as long as you do. The first time, I was right on the paperwork. This time I didn't go as fast.

Our attorney needed a 1 time retainer - her policy is that it is good for no matter how many adoptions we do. Then the rest were normal court costs, etc.

If you do a private adoption only through an attorney, it can be much cheaper.

Cheryl - posted on 01/27/2009

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Quoting Theresa:

Any adoptive parents?

I'm mom to 3 boys and would love to have a girl... but that won't happen the normal way since dh had a vasectomy and I want a 110% chance of a girl anyways! lol Just wondering if anyone has adopted and how it went? How do you start the process and how expensive is it? Thanks!


Hi Theresa,



 I did a private adoption my little girl is now 14 mos old.  I live in Florida and there is only three states that have the best adoption laws Florida included. The other two is Maryland & California.  The company I used  is called A Gift Of Life in St Petersburg FL . The cost of Private Adoption is $35,000.00. I suggest you go to their web site www.giftoflifeadoptions.com .



Godd Luck



Cheryl 



 

Karen - posted on 01/27/2009

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We had 3 biological children and adopted 5 children internationally.  We also did foster care  (4 & 5 year olds) domestically with an opportunity to adopt.  To check it out, we did 5 foreign exchange  students to see ours as well as our children's reactions.  I would highly recommend adopting a baby either domestically or internationally.  Costs vary depending on which agency and/or country.

Theresa - posted on 01/27/2009

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I'm in NY and would like to adopt domestically... How long does the process of paperwork take? How do the fees with an agency work?



Thanks for your responses ladies! And sorry if I sound "dumb" just have no clue where to even start looking for info!

Tracey - posted on 01/27/2009

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Hi - we adopted domestically and were VERY lucky! We started the paperwork late May 2003, had our foster care license at the beginning of September, where chosen and brought home our brand new baby from the hospital the first week of November 2003. We had some friends who completed an adoption the year before so we contacted their same attorney and agency - Lutheran Child and Family Services.

Contacting an adoption attorney would be the first step. This is important to make sure you know all the laws and regulations of your state - unfortunately, adoption laws are not the same from state to state, country to country. You will also need to contact someone to complete a home study. There is A LOT of paperwork! After the home study, then it is the waiting time. Many people network (fliers, website, etc.).

We were also very lucky because the birth mother did not want any financial assistance so our total cost was much lower than it could have been. I believe that our total cost was less than $15,000.

We are in the process of finishing our home study in the hope of adopting again. Please don't hesitate to contact me if you have any other questions!!! (tnackehill@gmail.com)

User - posted on 01/27/2009

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We adopted from China in July 2007. While it was the best experience of our lives...the wait right now it crazy. Almost 3 years. We spent $30k with travel and all required documentation, which I think is common for international adoption.



First find a trusted adoption agency that offers the type of adoption you are interested in. Research them like crazy! Ask friends if they know of one. That is how we found ours. You can also find agencies and ask for references. I would suggest finding one that is accredited (they are held to a higher standard).



If you need more information I would be more than happy to post more.

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