Any advice on how to deal with a bad parent?

Christina - posted on 02/12/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I'm not a step-parent but I feel as if I am. I have a daughter of my own but I have also helped raise my 5 year old nephew. His mom, my sister-in-law, isn't really the best mom. She is more worried about having a good time that she is about her son. Don't get me wrong she makes sure he's taken care of; when he's sick she takes him to the doctor, when he needs stuff she buys it; but she doesn't spend time with him if she can find someone to watch him. This weekend she actually took him out into the cold weather to a Mardi Gras parade when he had been running a temp of 101.3 at my house earlier that day, which of course made him even more sick. My mother-in-law and I have tried time and time again to talk to her and make her see that she needs to step up and stop putting him off on us all the time but it does no good. Anytime either of us can't watch him she gets mad and acts like its our fault that she actually has to take care of her child. I love this kid like he was my own but I'm sick of being used and run over. Any advice?

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Christina - posted on 02/12/2013

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To be honest, neither my mother-in-law or I trust her to find a suitable baby-sitter. She constantly yells at him when he acts his age. I feel awful for leaving my nephew with her. But lately she hasn't asked if I could watch him and just assumed I could. A few weeks ago, on a day I wasn't supposed to have him at all, she text me and said that she had to run into town and that when she was on her way home she would drop him off at my house. She didn't ask, she told. When I jumped her butt about it she said that her mom told her that I was suppose to have him that day anyway, which is a flat out lie. I'm tired of dealing with her but on the other hand I just don't trust her with her own child. I've asked time and time again for her to let him come live with me and my husband but she refuses. My way of thinking is that if you don't want to be a parent you shouldn't have laid there and gotten pregnant and if you don't take the nessasary precautions then you deal with the conciequenses. Simple as that.

To top all of this off she and I already don't get along. She has always been jealous of me. She tried for years to break my husband and I up and while we were planning our wedding she told my husband, right in front of me, that he should leave me at the alter. After we got married she accused me of cheating for no reason what so ever. This is the kid of person my nephew has to live with, Hince the reason I try to take him as much as I'm able to.

Amy - posted on 02/12/2013

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Put your foot down, if you can't or don't want to watch him then say so. Just because he is your nephew does not mean you have to take him every time she asks, and just because you say no doesn't mean you love him any less. Sometimes you have to put yourself and your own family first, and that might be difficult but its what must be done. You've already tried explaining yourself to her that's her problem if she is going to continue to act like a toddler and throw a tantrum every time you say no.

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