any comments

Andrea - posted on 04/11/2013 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I am a 35yr old mother of 5. I have been in a relationship with a man that is very good to my children. The problem was he was not good to me. For 7yrs I was FAITHFUL TO HIM. All of that time he was not. I was BEGGING him to stop,spend time with me. Love me. What I got was fake promises,left alone, and told when to come home from being with my family....which he has NEVER took time to get to know.(in7yrs) All the special moments of my life I have been alone.I was told how I look was not good,how I dress and the sex with me was not good. I still stood by him thinking he would come around to see I was all in for us both. We moved into a house which he said he bought for my children. I told him when we move into this house this is a permanent place. And any funny stuff and we were done. I had no choice because he gets a thrill out of cheating on me and me not knowing..his words not mine. HURTFUL. When we moved it was the same things. At this time I was working. And doing NOTHING but going to work, out with my whole family and home(7yrs of that PERIOD) I lost my job on the 24th of January. The 26th he was STILL doing it. And I told him then I had enough. I met a man which he knew about. I was UPFRONT about that. And that is when he started being faithful to me. It took another man to show me this is not how you should love someone. That is ALL I have EVER wanted. Someone to care for me the way I care for them. NOT money or fame. Just love. I am not perfect. I should have moved out before meeting anyone. It was not done because I do not care about him or to hurt him. I have been missing love for along time in my life. And I did tell him ALL my feelings at the time. And time and time again. It went on def ears and a closed heart. Now and then I am focused on trying be a better mom and a better me. He is still helping me,paying my bills and helping with my children. Which I hate,only because I am use to having a job and my own money. But I am thankful; and it will be repaid when I can stand alone for children. Any words are taken with honest ear and heart. Thank you. This is NOT a new problem.

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Andrea - posted on 04/11/2013

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THANK YOU I NEEDED TO HEAR THAT!!! wow is a sound I make when I am happy lol. THANK you

Andrea - posted on 04/11/2013

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Thank you very much ladies!! I am okay with me. He was not. And trust me. Today is the best day I have had in a few days. If you read about my son you will see why I say this. Thank you. I take it all with love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wow

Amy - posted on 04/11/2013

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Let this be a lesson no one is going to change for you if they promise 1 time or 10 times it doesn't matter unless there are actions. I agree with Michelle and suggest you get enrolled in some therapy to work on your self esteem. I also think you should be by yourself for awhile before you go from one relationship straight into the next especially since there are children involved.

Michelle - posted on 04/11/2013

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You sound like you have realized that he isn't healthy for you and are taking steps to leave. That's what you really need to do for the sake of your children. Yes, he may have been great to them but they also know your hurt and that can be more painful for them to see than anything else.

All I can say is get your self esteem back and leave as soon as you can. You need to get away from the abusive situation and make the best life possible for your children and that means you being happy.

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